Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Fiftieth Hodgepodge

Look whose fifty! Well certainly not me! I'm talking about the Hodgepodge, of course. By now you should know the drill--read, comment, click, repeat. You've got it. And by the way, you'd better leave a comment here after that fifty remark, or I'm going to be insulted.

1. What gives you goosebumps?
Extreme heights. My kids. My kids at extreme heights.

2. Halloween-are you a lover or a hater? Okay, that sounds harsh...Halloween-yay or nay?
Neigh. Or nay. Whichever you prefer. (Name that blogger). I did celebrate Halloween as a child at Awana. I dressed up as Miss America. It was a great costume, but the heels tended to interfere with the althletic portions of the evening.

3. Can you respect someone you do not trust, and can you trust someone you do not respect?
There are some people that I can trust to let me down so in those cases I would say I can trust them but not respect them. There are also times where I do not respect or trust the person, but I would respect the authority of their title or position. i.e. the President. Not that I'm trying to get political, or anything.

4. Apples or oranges? Yes, you have to choose.
I'm gonna go with apples because they've got that whole caramel thing going on right now.

5. What is something you wish was in your town? (shop, restaurant, attraction, etc)
Charming Charlie's is one of my new favorite stores. It's in Orlando, but not in my town, which is a suburb. I wish the store were in my town because I think I would live there. Imagine jewelry, purses, scarves, accessories, shoes, etc., in one huge store, all arranged according to color. Now don't you wish you had one in your town too?

6. What non-food item is in your refrigerator or freezer?
 We have occasional science experiments in there, both because I need to clean out the fridge and also because the boys sometimes attempt a few experiments of their own.

7. Are you at all superstitious?
The dictionary says that superstition is an irrational fear of what is unknown or mysterious, especially in connection with religion. Since that is the case, I am definitely not superstitious because I don't have a religion--I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. And although there are things that I don't know or understand, I know He's in control, and that's enough for me.

8. Insert your own random thought here.
In addition to science experiments, I also have my injectible medication in the refrigerator. What, I didn't mention the daily injections I now have to take? Hmmm, guess that'll be a blog post this week!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Female Hunting

From the title of this post, you might think that I am going to write about hunting females.

You would be wrong.
Earlier this month, this wonderful man that I've been married to for twenty-five and a half years left on a two-week hunting trip to Wyoming. This trip had been planned for over a year, and Indiana was very excited about it. He and the group he was going with planned on camping out up in the mountains, and Indiana filled many an hour with collecting and packing all the supplies he would need for this testosterone-filled adventure.

I have not gone hunting for wild game, but I've been married long enough to a hunter that I know the rules. Even if they have cell phone service (and they didn't in the mountains) they will not have the sound on because it could startle the deer. Indiana won't even turn his phone to vibrate, because the sudden movement could surprise him, and he could end up falling out of his tree stand. Or worse yet (in his mind) his sudden movement could scare away his prey.

So when Indiana took off on his epic journey, I knew that there would be limited contact for the next two weeks. And being seven or eight states away, there wasn't much he could help me with anyway.

I, the dutiful wife, stayed home with our six children. Yes, one of them is married and another one is an adult, but they will still always need their mother. During the two weeks he was gone, I went to work everyday and also homeschooled our four boys because I'm multi-talented that way.
 Stephanie and Luke painted the stairway, and the wall that looks so dingy behind Terry in the picture is now a glowing golden color that looks really good with my fall decorations. Steph and Luke also pressure-washed the outside of the house and the driveway, and we spent two days tracking and killing one of these spiders that was loose in my bedroom. By "we", I mean Luke tracked and killed it while Stephanie and I alternately issued orders, screamed in panic and cheered Luke on.

Note:  I slept in Steph's room until the spider was killed and removed from the house.

All of this was done without consulting Indiana. He knew nothing of any of these happenings until he returned from the wilds of Wyoming--with two antelope and two deer, by the way. (He would not be happy if I didn't point that out.)

The day after he returned, Stephanie and I made a trip to our old home in Alabama. We stayed with friends and engaged in a great deal of female hunting:  bargain shopping at a variety of places, including thrift stores and Catos. (I love that place!) I did have cell phone service the entire time we were gone, though, and Indiana took full advantage of that fact.

While we were in one store, he called to ask me about ordering airline tickets online. He wanted me to talk him through the process screen-by-screen, but I am not tech support. I finally suggested that he leave it to me and I would order the tickets later that day when I had access to a computer.

When we were in the second store, Indiana called again to ask if I'd ordered the tickets yet. I reminded him that I wouldn't be at a computer until after supper. Then he said he'd figured it out, but he still ended up wanting me to talk him through some of the steps. He finally hit the point of agreeing that he should wait and let me do it.

I should mention that Indiana orders stuff online all the time. But never airline tickets. To the best of my knowledge, I've always arranged any travel details when flying is involved.

Through two more stores and the start of dinner at Olive Garden with friends, Indiana texted me with details of what he wanted for the airline tickets. I texted back that this was why I needed an ipad. Then I could have taken care of the tickets as soon as he called me. That comment stopped any further texts and calls, and I made the airline reservations as soon as I got to a computer.

The following day I was visiting with friends when Indiana called again. Apparently there was some discrepancy between the price he had seen online and the actual price I paid for the tickets. Multiple calls and texts later, I finally figured out that the airline had charged me for flight insurance that I had not asked for. Multiple calls and a long hold time later, the money was reimbursed to our account.

The next day, our last before traveling home, Stephanie and I were on our way to a meeting when Indiana texted me to ask if I could order pizza for them.
Yes, I was two states away.

Yes, he was serious.

Rather than argue the insanity of the request, I simply asked what they wanted, and then used the app on my phone to order it. Then I texted the price and pick up time back to him.

It was just easier that way.

I'm thinking that next time I go on a trip, I need to turn my phone off when I engage in female hunting. After all, the sound of the ringer could scare away the sales.

Or I could get startled and fall out of the checkout line. What do you think?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The World Series of Hodgepodges

Not really, but hey, it's still a hodgepodge, and it's still fun. Come on in; the water's fine!

1. How do you typically react in a sudden, extreme, pressure-filled crisis? Would we want you nearby in an emergency?
Hey, everyone would want me around in an emergency! I've had lots of experience with them--married to Indiana Jones and mother to five boys--and I know just what to do. 
First, squelch all instincts to scream in panic. Lower your voice and slow your speech. While in reality you are near hyperventilating, this move will cause those around you to believe you are in complete control. 
Second, call someone. Don't call 911 or some sort of medical personnel because that's too predictable. Instead call your spouse, call a friend--someone to whom you can describe the situation and get their input and opinion. This is a very important step because, if your response turns out to be wrong, you have someone else to blame. 
Third, speak in big words and convey meanings through dramatic speech patterns. For instance, if your child broke his arm, don't say he broke his arm. That will cause him to panic. Instead, discuss the break and the swelling by referring to the enlargement and displacement of the area.
And finally, when the crisis is past, find some place to be alone. Curl up in a fetal position and alternate between sobbing uncontrollably and eating chocolate. I must warn you, though, that this final step is often interrupted by another crisis. At least it is in my house.

2. Caramel apple-caramel sundae-caramel corn-caramel macchiato...of the four, which caramel treat would you choose?
Well I like caramel apples, but I don't like the stupid little circles of caramel that are never big enough to cover the apple. They also tear whenever you try to stretch them. I also don't like attempting to use little caramel squares that are melted so that you can dip your apples in them and coat them. In the first place, unwrapping all those little squares is way more work than it should be, and usually someone's eaten through half the caramels by the time I get around to making the apples, so I never have enough. Except I never realize that until I've already unwrapped all the ones that are left.
Obviously I have issues.

3. Is there such a thing as destiny? Explain.
Yes and no. Destiny is a Marvel Comics cartoon character, known as an adversary of the X-men. Real and yet, not so much.

4. What's your favorite piece of furniture? I'm referring to something currently in your possession as opposed to something on your wish list.
I like my kitchen table. When we bought it, the salesman explained that it was made of distressed wood. Knowing that, I didn't mind so much when our six children stressed it out for real.

5. Wednesday night marks the start of the 2011 Baseball World Series. Did you know? Do you care? Will you be watching? Ever been to a professional baseball game? If you're not an American do you find the title 'World Series' annoying or amusing?
This looks like way more than one question to me. At any rate, I was born and raised a Cubs fan. That means I have no interest in the World Series, and I'm not even sure what it is.

6. A sound that takes me back to my childhood is____________.
The sound of a dishwasher running. Call me crazy, but that blessed sound meant I didn't have to do dishes anymore. Except for everything that didn't fit in the dishwasher. Which, come to think of it, was quite a lot. Okay, now I'm nostalgic and bitter.

7. On average, once you've linked your hodgepodge post to mine how many other participant blogs do you visit? Do you ever come back to the Hodgepodge later in the day or even the day after to read posts?
I don't think I want to answer this question because this is the first time in a month that I've participated in the Hodgepodge and my lack of activity for the past four weeks is sure to skewer my averages. But let me assure you that I'm going to visit as many as possible tomorrow (today) and I will admire every jeweled word. Seriously. Every. Word. Feel better?

8. Insert your own random thought here.
What's the difference between male hunting and female hunting? Male hunting involves weapons and wildlife, sitting out in the elements without moving a muscle for hours at a time, peeing out of doors and not bathing regularly for several days in a row. Female hunting involves malls, credit cards, sales and bargains and lunch out with a couple of friends. Now seriously, which one would you want to participate in?

Me too.

Monday, October 17, 2011

I've Been Working on the Railroad

Well, I haven't really been working on the railroad, but I have been working on the blog. You will probably see occasional changes in the next few weeks as I try to decide what I like and what I don't. Feel free to weigh in with your own opinions and suggestions. After all, design is not my strong suit.

In the meantime, I hope to get back to regular blogging soon. I tried to wait until my life settled down, but obviously that's not happening so I might as well share life with you.

Let me know what you think of my new look!

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