All Alone

When was the last time you spent some time alone with God? I'm not talking about your daily devotions and prayer time. I'm talking about specifically setting aside time to get alone and spending time with Him.

Without interruptions. Without distractions.

It's not as easy as you'd think. We live in a multi-tasking society. We're too busy to focus on only thing at a time. We're taught that it's a waste of time to be single-minded. How many times have you started to pray, only to realize your mind has sprinted off in a million different directions in the middle of a request? It's so hard to stay focused on our conversation with the Lord when there are so many other things going on in our lives.

Jesus Himself showed us that sometimes we need to practice the discipline of solitude in our prayer life. But you might be surprised when He felt the need to be alone. He practiced solitude after feeding the 5,000. He had just performed this huge miracle of feeding this great crowd of people with only five loaves of bread and two small fishes. And yes, I do take the Bible literally. I do believe He actually performed a miracle. What a mountaintop experience for everyone there! But then the Bible tells us that he sent the disciples away, sent the crowds away and went off to pray. Alone.

Sometimes I think great victories can make us vulnerable. We've had such a great experience that we get careless about the pitfalls that are still out there in our Christian walk. Or we get over-confident. But it's important to recharge your spiritual batteries before they are completely depleted.

He set a great example for those of us so busy caring for others as well. He took care of the immediate needs of those around Him. And then He sent them away. He knew they would need Him again. But since their immediate needs were met, He also knew that He could leave them for a while in order to take care of His own needs. Sure enough, later that night when the disciples were caught in a storm on the Sea of Galilee, Jesus was there for them.

So what about you? What do you do when you need alone time with God? Do you set a timer and tell the kids to leave you alone until it goes off? Do you ship the kids off to the neighbors? Maybe you get to schedule a few days to go away by yourself. (That's my dream!) And how do you maintain your focus while praying? How's your prayer life this morning?

*This post is a small part of the monthly Bible study our church ladies have been having on prayer. 

Through The Eyes of A Child

Sixteen is a monumental milestone in a kid's life. Our third-born turns sixteen in six days. I'm reeling every time I think of it. How could he be sixteen? Wasn't it just yesterday that he was a little boy with white blond hair who so loved to climb into the bathroom sink? He would sit there and wait to surprise the next person that came in. He would jump off the back of a church pew without a second thought. He "watered" the flowers in the flowerbeds in front of the church building.

And now he wants to learn how to drive.

I'm not ready, I tell you. How did he age when I haven't gotten any older? It's not a cliche:  where did the time go? I look at him and so many questions flood through my mind. The biggest question is: what do you get as a present for a monumental birthday?

Seriously, any suggestions?  (If you suggest we get him a car, consider yourself smacked in the head from cyberspace.)

Nicky, our ten-year-old came to me today and confided that he and his other two brothers were plotting what to get for Luke for his birthday. He said they hadn't narrowed it down yet, but how much did I think a puppy would cost? I told him keep thinking; that wasn't it.

As if having another child hit sixteen isn't bad enough, my kids always know how to make it a little worse. We went through a drive through after church tonight to pick up some burgers. I told Joel to hand me my wallet. When he flicked it open, my driver's license was clearly visible. Joel studied it closely for a moment and then asked, "When you get a new license, will they let you take another picture?" You gotta love his tact.

"It's not a good one, is it?"

Joel studied it for a moment more. "I've seen you in other pictures. You can do better."

Also in conversation on the way home was this question: would you rather kill a dragon for self-defense, or have a dragon for self-defense?

We get deep, I tell you. Hope you're braced for another week, and I hope it's a good one for you. Don't forget to leave a comment with a suggestion for a sixteenth birthday present. Just remember--there are three more after him. I don't want to set any precedents I can't live up to.

Hair and There

So we had a quiet evening at home last night. At least, it was as quiet as it gets in our house. After eating chicken and mashed potatoes with corn and garlic cheddar biscuits for dinner, we watched a little Stargate SG-1 and then I watched Terry give the boys haircuts. This is always an event at our house, and there are several important aspects of this family ritual. Such as ...

The boys kidding each other about love handles and belly pooches when they take their shirts off.

Discovering a scary looking dark spot on Nicky's scalp. Turned out the be a remnant of the marker fight the boys had earlier this week.

Terry getting through half a haircut and then surreptitiously unplugging the clippers and pretending that they stopped working.

All the boys making suggestions for each other as to new styles--the bowl cut, the mohawk or the lawnmower look (plowed right down the middle). Thankfully their father takes none of these suggestions seriously.

Some serious mugging as they inspect their new haircuts in the bathroom mirror.

Terry offering to cut my hair for me. I don't take him up on the suggestion.

Terry does a great job on the boys' hair. Not so much on girls' hair. Years ago he was giving Matt and Luke both haircuts, and Stephanie begged for her daddy to cut her hair too. A little trim kept getting shorter and shorter until hair that hung halfway down her back was barely grazing the edge of her jawline. It wouldn't have been so bad except it still wasn't even. And it was the night before her kindergarten graduation. Thankfully we had a friend who did hair for a living and she was able to salvage something and turn a disaster into a cute cut. But she wouldn't even try until she made Terry promise he would never again cut Stephanie's hair.

Ahhh memories.

So after last night, the boys are all neatly trimmed and looking good. And there are tiny hairs all over the house that persist no matter how much sweeping and vacuuming we do.

How do my guys look?

A Sticky Situation

Some things in our family are absolutes. They always have been and they always will be. These absolutes are not simply a matter of "we've always done it that way", but they are a matter of being firmly rooted in principles and beliefs that cannot be dissuaded.

For instance, we go to church Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night. There is no variation. There is no discussion as to whether or not we're going to go. We will be there. Another example is that my children will be respectful. No exceptions.

But just this week one of our bedrock fundamentals was shaken. My children have questioned something we've always done. Some of them are protesting against one of the absolute basics in our lives. The source of this rebellion?

Peanut butter.

I take peanut butter seriously. I am brand loyal and I am a choosy mother. Therefore, I choose Jif. It's what I've always bought, and I will not change.

Actually, the boys aren't complaining about the brand. They're complaining about the consistency. That's right. The age-old choice between smooth and crunchy peanut butter has reared its ugly head. I've always bought smooth. Always. I don't know how they came to discover there were any other choices. But somehow the joys of crunchy peanut butter became known to them. And I'm afraid some of them have crossed over to the other side.

Two and half of our boys have declared their loyalty to crunchy. (One said he could go either way--that's the half.) They've asked for it when we're in the store. They've turned their nose up at the faithful smooth that's always had a place on the pantry shelf.

So this week I finally caved. I bought crunchy. I'm not sure if this compromise will bring a new era of peace and happiness in our home, or if it will sharpen the divide between us. Only time will tell.

So what about you? Brand preference? And are you a "smooth" or a "chunky"? (When I put it that way, isn't the answer obvious?)

It's Random Dozen Day!

1. Do you use the labels various charities send you as “free gifts?”
Interesting question. I've never quite understood what the charities had in mind when they do this. I mean, I know what they have in mind, but doesn't it seem a little strong-armish to send something "free" and expect people to be guilted into paying for it? And if you're not going to pay for it, then do you need to at least pay for the postage to send them back? And then what will happen except that they will have to be destroyed because what else can you do with someone else's address labels? I don't really feel like these labels are the best use of money that comes to a charity. And no, I don't use the labels because they have my old address on them. Nyah! 

2. What is your favorite time of day (or night) for skywatching?
When I'm looking up at the atmosphere, I'm usually looking at the things in the sky--clouds, stars--because the sky itself is not usually doing much. It's just kind of a backdrop.

3. What is the most adventurous you've ever been with trying a new food? (Keep it G-rated please)
I've had wildebeest, zebra and crocodile. Crocodile tastes a little like chicken, but it's very fatty. One thing I won't eat is fried grasshoppers, and you can't make me! (I'm feeling a little defiant today, can you tell?)

4. Have you ever heard a rock sing? (Trust me, there's a reason for this one!)
No, but I've heard a tree bark. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

5. If you could learn a language you don't presently speak, what would it be?
I would learn Nicky-language so that I could converse with my son and his imaginary friends.

6. Al Capone's tombstone read, “My Jesus, Mercy.” If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say?
"Life's hard and then you die, so eat your breakfast." I've said that before to my kids and they have threatened to put it on my tombstone. And since I would be dead, I think they would have the last word.

7. If you were a famous musician who was known by one name, like “Cher,” “Sting,” or “Jewel,” what would it be? It doesn’t have to be your first name, but it can be, if you’d like.
I am known by one name--Mom. I do a one-woman show, and I'm always asked for autographs.

8. Have you ever been inordinately “into” a television show?
Although I have never blended the line between entertainment and reality, I absolutely loved Alias. I was out of the country when it started, and by the time I discovered it, it was already in its fourth season. I bought the dvd's and devoured one episode after another. I was actually grateful I didn't watch it when it first aired--I would never have been able to wait an entire week for the next episode!

9. When you sneeze, do you go big, or do you do that weird “heenh!” sound that makes people think you’re going to blow your brains out? Any other variation we should know about?
My sneeze comes out however it comes out and I have very little to say about it. I do think that more important than controlling the sound is controlling the spray.

10. Do you still read an actual newspaper that you hold in your hands, or do you get your news elsewhere?
I get some news from the internet, some from television, some from a newspaper and most from my neighbor. She's very well-informed and she likes to gossip.

11. Are you a good speller?
Spelling always counts! Ask any of my kids--I count off spelling even in their math tests. 

12. At what time each day do you start thinking aboutLost lunch?
Usually when I'm racing out the door to work and realizing that I didn't pack one.


If you want to answer the random dozen, or if you'd like to read other people's answers, click the link at the top of the post!

The Voice of Experience

In the first place, I need to apologize for my computer's pity party on Friday. I spend a couple of days in bed and everyone gets off track. Just to clear up the rumors, yes, I looked at the ipad. Who didn't? No, I'm not buying one. At least, not the first version. No need to feel pity for a self-important piece of equipment. And having gotten that issue out of the way, on to today's post ...

I've been doing this mother thing for almost twenty-one years now. That fact frightens me in and of itself. In the first place, the thought that I've been a mother for twenty-one years means I'm ... older ... than I used to be. I don't like facing that fact. That's why I try to avoid looking in the mirror wherever possible.

But there's something else that bothers me. I mean, think about it for a minute. If you met someone on the job that had twenty-one years of experience, what would that say to you? That many years of experience would say that person knew a lot about the product and/or company. They had encountered almost any situation that could come up on the job. That they were a leader in the field.

Not so with motherhood. My fourth child has started their teenage years. Fourth. This is our third teenage boy. There should be few surprises. I should know what to do by now. But unfortunately, each of my children insist on having their own personalities and doing things their own way. And each time I find myself stumbling along, trying to figure out what works with this child. Whichever one I'm dealing with at the moment.

Having said all that, there's still the fact that I've been a mother for two decades. I do have some experience to offer. And what good is everything I've been through if I don't share it? Okay, it may not be any good to anyone else, but I'm going to share it anyway. So here it is: a few tips on motherhood:

• Kids will not die if they don't get their way.
• A structured schedule is smart, but if you never vary it, your kids will never learn to roll with the unexpected in life.
• It's okay to have ice cream for breakfast as long as it's not a regular part of the morning menu.
• It's harmful to your children when you try to fix everything for them.
• They need to know that actions, both good and bad, have consequences that they have to live with.
• Kids need to know how to communicate. Sullen attitudes, pouts and frowns are not communicating. Don't let them get away with that.
• Kids need to know that life is sometimes not fair. And they need to get over it.
• Injuries happen sometimes, and they make great playground conversation. There's no reason to panic if a bandaid or two will fix it.

My kids have taught me a few things too:

• Live in the moment. 
• Many times their differences can be settled without adult interference.
• Sometimes adult interference makes things worse.
• They will grow up too quickly, and twenty-one years will pass in the blink of an eye.
• Even small, silly things can be incredibly wonderful and important.
• Life hurts sometimes when you were growing up. You'll feel the hurt even more as they pass through those times.
• You only have so much time with them as children. Make the most of every moment.

And I'd better stop there before I get all misty-eyed. None of these things are earth-shatteringly brilliant. And if you're a mother, you probably already know this. I just felt like I had to say it. Let me leave you with one final piece of advice:

If you're struggling with potty-training or weaning them off a bottle or pacifier, there's always hope. Someday they will start kindergarten, and peer pressure can be a wonderful thing. I guarantee you that by the second day, the pacifier will be left at home.

Of course, it might take them until college to get over the fallout of taking their pacifier to school on that first day. 

Weekend Observations

Things I learned this weekend:

If you're sick and in bed for three days, you will have missionaries that need a place to stay on Sunday night.

You will find out about the missionaries when your husband sheepishly remembers to tell you, after choir practice and just before the evening service.

You realize you cannot kill your husband because you need someone to take the said missionaries to Dennys, and feed them while you rush home after church and clean the house.

During your frantic cleaning, you will discover that your house has a sour odor.

You will trace the sour odor to the guest bedroom.

You will not be able to discover the source of the odor, so you will rely heavily on Febreeze after cleaning, dusting and vacuuming.

You will pray that your guests are not allergic to Febreeze.

You will discover that the hangers your children put in the guest closet are the kind with your dress size embedded in the handle.

You will discover that your teenage sons can do well with cleaning, but they will literally drop any tools/utensils they used as soon as they are finished with the job at hand.

You will use this madcap cleaning whirlwind as an example to your children of why they should listen when you tell them to clean up after themselves all the time.

Your children will still not listen to you.

Thus endeth the lesson.