Deep Gut-Wrenching Contemplations

I know I've not been around lately. Lately is a relative term. I think in this case it means I haven't blogged in about a month. And I know this has been a huge source of disappointment to the many two of you who read this blog.

My bad.

I started out this year with a determination to blog more regularly. Clearly that resolution bit the dust before the end of January.  And then every time I thought of something to blog, I remembered that I hadn't changed my background or my header picture. I still had hollyberries and loads of snow. Not at all acceptable when I'm sitting here in 80 degree weather.

But I didn't know what to do with the background. Did I want to go back to what I had last year? Find something new? Go back to the basic blogger template? I couldn't decide. And I couldn't blog when I still looked so much like winter. I realize that it still is winter in many parts of the country and a lot both of you are digging out from snow, but still.

All this thinking about the look of my blog led me to thinking about other aspects. And I found myself with a bucketload of soul searching questions:  Is blogging right for me? Should I do something different to gain more followers? (I'm sure more commenting on other people's blogs would help.) Should I stop trying to be funny and start being more profound and thought-provoking? Should I even have a blog at all? Maybe I should quit.

After almost two months of introspection, broken occasionally by a foray into the weekly Hodgepodge, I've come to some rather drastic conclusions.

I need new mascara.

I know. Totally random. Turns out I'm not really profound even in my deep thinking. But one night while I was mulling over these thoughts, I looked in the mirror and realized I had dark circles under my eyes. Turns out my mascara tends to smear by the end of the day.

Other deep thoughts have involved Stephanie's upcoming wedding, and as I stood there at the mirror, these two thoughts collided:  I can't have smeary mascara at her wedding. I might cry. I probably will cry at her wedding. And then I could very well end up doing a good raccoon imitation in the pictures--without the scavenging through garbage, I hope.

So I need some new mascara. Any suggestions? I used to wear Mary Kay's. She was generous like that. And then I got some Ulta mascara for free. I like it, but I get this smear thing going on. I don't want to have to try dozens to find what I want. I just want something that will make my lashes look incredibly awesome without making my face look incredibly stupid. Why doesn't someone use that as their tagline for advertising?

I also need new lipstick, but I think I know what I need here thanks to Fringegirl's blog. She participates in a What I Wear meme every week, and she looks really good. But what I noticed even more than her clothes, was her lipstick. So I asked her what she wore. I guess I'm not the only one that liked it because Fringegirl did a vlog on lipstick not too long ago.

So, I have no deep and profound thoughts and decisions for my blog future, but I'm starting to get a handle on the makeup I need to wear to my daughter's wedding. Now if ya'll can just help me out with some mascara tips, I'll be all set. Except for the fact that I don't have a dress for the wedding yet.

Baby steps, I guess.

And by the way, in case you care (and even if you don't), this is the background I used last year. Turns out that most of the wonderful free backgrounds out there are either too pastel or cutesy for me.

Shocker.

Boots and Wedding Plans

I was away from home this week, visiting my daughter and helping with wedding plans. Or not helping. Maybe just participating in the fun. Whatever it was, I loved it. Rather than go on and on (do I do that?) I'm just giving you a list of highlights.

1. It was VERY cold there! And since I'm living in Florida, I wore flipflops. So I was "forced" to go buy something warmer or risk frostbite.

 

I happen to think my poor planning paid off!

 

2. We went to dinner at Logan's as soon as I got there, because they have--as Stephanie puts it--"buttery rolls of goodness".

 

3. We went to a national bridal shop (is there more than one?) to buy a bolero-type jacket to go with Stephanie's wedding dress. The salesclerk, who apparently was not interested in making a sale that night, was less than helpful and we did not leave with a jacket. Not quite the wedding-planning experience I was hoping for.

 

4. Stephanie's fiancee was with us a great deal of the time, and I got to know him better.

 

5. I like Zack. And he's perfect for Stephanie.

 

6. On my last night there, Stephanie and I ate at McDonald's. Don't judge. It's our favorite fast food place, and we always go at least once when we're together.

 

7. At McDonald's, Stephanie often orders cheeseburgers without the cheese. She's high-maintenance like that. (Love you, Steph!)

 

8. I saw lots of old friends at church while I was there.

 

9. Most of our friends said hi, and then immediately asked if Terry was with me. (That would be Indiana Jones for you blogging friends.)

 

10. I'm a teensy bit not the least jealous that Indiana is more popular than I am.

 

11. Logan's, McDonald's, Starbucks, Michaels, Charming Charlies, etc. We went to lots of fun places while I was there.

 

12. It's a little sad that most of our fun places have to do with food.

 

13. My last night there we went to Charming Charlie's (this was before McDonald's) and Stephanie found the jewelry she wants to wear on her wedding day. That was exactly the kind of wedding-planning experience I hoped for, and made up for the whole jacket non-incident.

 

14. We took lots of fun pictures of Stephanie in her wedding dress, shoes and jewelry. (But of course, not the jacket. Not that I'm bitter.) : )

 

15. We did not take all those pictures at Charming Charlies. We waited until we got home.

 

16. We may or may not have been way too giggly while we were taking those pictures.

 

17. The fact that it was the wee hours of the morning may or may not have been the reason we were so giggly.

 

18. I am not posting those pictures on the blog. Don't want Zack to accidentally see her in her wedding finery before the big day. (Sorry, Zack!)

 

19. The boys and Indiana did quite fine for themselves while I was gone. I laid in a supply of groceries before I left.

 

20. Those groceries may have had a lot of variety, but the guys still mostly ate frozen pizza.

 

21. The pizza was DiGorno's, so it's not like they were roughing it.

 

22. The house was not completely trashed when I got home.

 

23. I think there was a lot of last minute scrambling to get it cleaned up before I got home.

 

24. This little girl took her parents to see her other grandma a week before I left. They got back while I was gone, so I went almost two weeks without seeing her. That was way too long.

 

 

25. Stephanie planned on us putting together some of the bridal party bouquets while I was there.

 

26. I think she was including me in that just to be nice.

 

27. We both know I have no talent for that sort of thing, and she likes her bridesmaids too much to make them carry something I made.

 

28. We never got around to the bouquets.

 

29. I think that might have been on purpose.

 

30. I'm okay with that.

 

So how was your week?

 



The Chinese Hodgepodge

Oh come on. You don't just want to sit by the window and complain about how cold it is. Let's get those creatively warm juices flowing by participating in the Hodgepodge!

1.  Chinese New Year will be celebrated on February 10th, and 2013 is the year of the snake. When did you last see a snake?  Are you okay around snakes or do they give you the shivers? 

Okay, just like the color of the year, who makes the decision that this is the year of the snake? Why would anyone want to burden a year with that kind of notoriety? Why can't it be the year of the Ibex? (It's a mountain goat, people.) It's not a great animal, but it's a fun name and it's better than a snake.

2. The color red in Chinese culture usually means good luck.  Do you believe in luck? 

According to the Color Wheel Pro, red enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It's also used as an accent color to stimulate people to make quick decisions.

Using that line of thinking, since my answers are always in red, you should quickly decide that reading my Hodgepodge answers actually counts as exercise.

3. sledding-ice skating-building a snowman...if given a choice, which activity would you choose?  Which of the three have you done most recently?  

If I could do any of those things today, you'd be hearing about it on the news 'cause we don't get snow and ice in central Florida.

4.  Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited as saying, "The years teach much which the days never knew."  Where have you seen this quote played out in your own life?  

Not sure I ever have, but I have had plenty of opportunities to apply the following saying in the Boyd house:  

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. - Author unknown

5. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?  

I don't know, but now I want a cupcake. With sprinkles.

6. What's something you can't say no to?  

A cupcake with sprinkles.

7.  Are you a doodler?  

I've been known to doodle this and that.

8.  Insert your own random thought here. 

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. - Author unknown

And with those words of wisdom from someone smart enough not to leave his name, I'll bid you adieu.

The Super Competitive Hodgepodge

I want to inform you that, just like at the Superbowl Party, snacks consumed while participating in the Hodgepodge have zero calories. 

Just so we're clear.

1.  In the USA this coming Sunday millions will be watching as the Baltimore Ravens take on the San Francisco 49's in the Superbowl.  What was the last event you attended that could be described as super?

Are you kidding me? Life with four teenage boys and a dog with a major attitude, plus I'm married to the original Indiana Jones. Everyday LIFE is a super event. (Super busy, super crazy, super intense, sometimes super smelly ...)

2.  Share something you're a fan of these days?

Peace and quiet. Don't see it much, but absence just makes the heart grow fonder.

3. How do you feel about wings?  In case anyone is confused, I'm talking the edible appetizer kind.  What's your preferred seasoning on a wing-hot, mild, teryiaki, sweet and sour, other?  Do you make your own or is there a favorite place you like to go for wings?   

I don't like having to work that hard for my food, neither do I want to leave countable substance on my plate so everyone can know just how much I've eaten.

4.  As long as we're talking sports today...have you followed the Lance Armstrong story?  Did you watch his interview with Oprah and if so what was your reaction to his confession and subsequent remarks?  

I'm aware of the story but have not followed it, so I can only comment on what I've heard--a dangerous practice that millions of people engage in every day. Since that would not be prudent, I will simply comment on what I know:  "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Anyone can do wrong because we have a sinful nature. It's what we do with God's forgiveness that counts.

5.  What's a question you hate to be asked?  

I'm not a fan of "Did you do this?" because it usually means I'm in trouble. A close second would be the oh-so-similar, "Why didn't you do this?"

6. The coaches in this Sunday's big game happen to be real life brothers.  Jim Harbaugh coaches the 49er's and his older brother John Harbaugh coaches the Baltimore Ravens.  Were you and your sibling(s) competitive?  In what way? Are you still?  If you're an only child how did you handle competition growing up?  

I am not at all competitive, and contrary to popular opinion, I have never left intentional scratches on an opponent during a frenzied round of Dutch Blitz.

7.  What's your favorite game involving a ball and when did you last play?    

Boccie ball. I don't think I've ever played it, but I like saying boccie. (or bocce, whichever you prefer.)
 

8.  Insert your own random thought here. 
Sometimes you don't do something because you want to. You do it because it's the right thing to do.

I know, profound, right? Sometimes I amaze myself!

 

The Fair and Silent Hodgepodge

Joyce has no voice (no, I'm not trying to rhyme) and we're discussing what's fair in the Hodgpodge today. Let's hear what you think, first in my comments and then by clicking the link and adding your own thoughts to everyone else's.

 

 

1. The popular saying, 'All is fair in love and war' is originally credited to English writer John Lyly. Is he right?
I'd like to know what kind of experience John Lyly has had in both war and love that he feels qualified to make that statement.

2. Are you a cereal eater? What's your favorite kind?
We are seriously going to have to stop all the food questions that concern carbs since I'm not doing carbs right now. And I'm pretty sure the Hodgepodge is all about me, isn't it?

It's not? My bad. (I like Cocoa Pebbles.)

3. A five year old in Pennsylvania was recently given a ten day school suspension for talking with a friend about shooting one another with a Hello Kitty Bubble gun (the gun blows bubbles). She did not have the gun with her at school.

A psychological evaluation was also ordered and the incident was recorded on her permanent record. The suspension was later reduced to two days and her parents are suing to have the incident removed from her file. Your thoughts? (If you missed the story click here for details).
I think they parents are right to sue to have the incident removed from her file. Any reference to Hello Kitty could seriously affect her college choices.

I also think a psychological evaluation should be ordered for all government employees. And then we should get ourselves checked out for being dumb enough to let these people run anything in our lives.

4. Whatever happened to_____________________________?
... Sanity? (See previous question.)

5. January 23rd is National Handwriting Day, billed as a day to reacquaint yourself with a pen and pencil. Do you like your handwriting? Do you prefer to print or write in cursive? This date was chosen because its the birth date of John Hancock. What's the last thing you signed your name to?
I reintroduced myself to both my pen and my pencil. They said hello.

6. Speaking of John Hancock...ever been to Philadelphia? Do you have any desire to visit the city of Brotherly Love?

I'm not so sure I want to see a lot of brotherly love. Especially since, in our house, brotherly love means noogies.

7. Share something funny you've heard a child say.

Well he's not a child, but recently my husband was preaching and he referred to someone working by the sweat of his brow. Only what he actually said was, "...by the sweat of his bra."

8. Insert your own random thought here.
Why is it that, every time you run into someone you know at Walmart, your arms happen to be full of feminine hygiene products?

 

The World's Best Diet Plan

We do it every year. Or we know someone that does. Losing weight is the top New Year's resolution on many lists, and the reason gym memberships and diet books sell like (low carb) hotcakes in January. I've had it as a resolution for so long, that it automatically appears at the #1 spot on the list whenever I write the word "resolutions". 1. Lose weight.

See?

Almost everyone wants to lose weight. Or get in shape. Or become a completely different person. Well, maybe not that last one so much. But still we're thinking about it. Some want to lose 100 pounds. Some want to lose 10. Some just want to bulk up. Some want to slim down.

And for every different person's resolution, there's a different plan to help get us there. The problem is, I've found a flaw with almost every plan.

There's Paleo and Atkins, South Beach and Zone. They may work, but I'm afraid if I mix them up and drink Atkins shakes while eating Zone bars, I'll actually gain weight instead of losing it.

And of course there are the old tried-and-true standbys: Weight Watchers - I've actually caught myself cheating on points; Jenny Craig - ever notice how all their spokespeople seem to gain weight back as soon as their contract is up? As for Nutrisystem, you need to listen to their advertisements carefully. They ship food to your door in perfectly proportioned (re: tiny) servings. I'd have to sign both my husband and myself up, and then eat both our servings in order to get a decent meal. Which probably also defeats the purpose of the diet plan, but whatever.

And then of course, there's the fad diets:  the grapefruit diet, the cabbage diet (I'll bet that one's fun!) and the liquids-only diets.

You can do all the standard diet techniques such as get a diet buddy (we encouraged each other to cheat), or start a food journal. I'm sorry, but writing about food is NOT going to make me stop wanting to eat. In fact, just writing this post is making me hungry. And I tend to "forget" to write down anything that shouldn't be on the list anyway.

One of the problems with all these diets are that they are so stinkin' expensive! Don't you just love when the commercials say their program is only $30 a month! Cost of food extra. Can someone explain to me exactly what I'm paying for if I haven't even bought the food yet? Oh, that's right. I'm paying for the privilege of showing up once a week and having you watch me step on a scale. I'm paying you to give me guilt. Yeah. You should be paying me for that one.

Well you can pack all your money in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile 'cause I've got the perfect diet plan for you. Doesn't matter if you're slimming down, building muscle, trimming fat, or getting into shape. It doesn't matter if you're training for a 10k run, or you'd just like to be able to walk faster than the snail in your driveway.

The best part is, this diet doesn't cost you anything. Well, nothing you weren't going to spend already. And it's absolutely foolproof!

So what is this miracle diet? It's called My Child is Getting Married and I Have to Lose Weight Before the Wedding Day Diet.

I admit the title needs work.

I've been on this diet before. You all may remember a couple of years ago when I lost seventy sixty pounds before Matt and Kylee's wedding day. (I thought it was seventy, but turns out my math skills were a bit lacking. Shocker!)

There is a downside to this diet plan. Once the wedding is over, the motivation pretty much is also out the window. I discovered this the hard way when some of those unwanted pounds started coming back.

Thankfully, my daughter came to the rescue! Stephanie's always looking out for me, and I'm sure that's why she recently got engaged.

I think I mentioned a while ago that she was dating this guy ...

... and it seems like they both thought this was a pretty good thing.

So eventually Zack decided to make a phone call--to Indiana. That might have been a daunting task except that the guys had already bonded over hunting. But even at that, I think Zack was nervous the night he called Stephanie's dad to ask permission to marry her. He explained that he loved our daughter very much and was asking for our blessing.

And Indiana said no.

After waiting through a long and awkward silence, Indiana said, "Just kidding!"

I guess he wanted to make sure Zack's heart was strong enough to take being married into our family.

Steph didn't realize Zack had asked permission, so she was totally caught off guard when he popped the question.

Although they were far away when he proposed, Zack won big points because he tried to skype us with his phone so that we could witness the proposal. It wasn't his fault they were in Podunkville where the cell service was not that great.

And here Stephanie sat in the restaurant wondering why Zack and his entire family were so consumed with how their reception was and who's phone was getting the best signal.

I guess he's pretty good at surprises.

At any rate, I'm very grateful to her for saying yes so that I can get back on the World's Best Diet Plan.

Since the happy couple are getting married before the end of summer, I've plunged back into the deprivation of dieting and the agony of exercising with grim determination.

I've already lost 10 pounds. I figure I owe it to Zack and Steph to do my best at this dieting thing since they're so willing to go to all this trouble for me.

I'm sure that's the main reason, anyway.

Just wait 'til she finds out what I've told you before--the most important person at the wedding is the mother of the groom. I'm sure that's the way Zack's mom will see things.

Just like I did.

The Superior Hodgepodge

Laugh. Click. Repeat. You can do it.

WAIT!

Don't forget the comment!

1. Lake Superior University has once again published a list of words/phrases they think should be banished from the Queen's English...here's the list for 2013-

fiscal cliff, kick the can down the road, double down, job creators/creation, passion/passionate, yolo (an acronym for you only live once), spoiler alert, bucket list, trending, superfood, boneless wings, and guru

Which of these words/phrases would you most like to see banished from everyday speech and why. Go here to read more about how the words were chosen.

I think someone is taking the word "Superior" in their title just a little too seriously. Perhaps we ought to do away with Lake Superior University, banish, and the Queen's English.

By the way, if the words are banished, what happens if we use them anyway? Are the grammar people gonna get us?

2.  When was the last time you rode a train?  Where did you go?
Does the tram at the amusement park count?

3. Bagels-yay or nay?  Favorite 'flavor'?  Favorite topping?
I cannot discuss bagels right now because I'm off carbs for the foreseeable future. But thanks for making me crave one.

  4.  'Tis the season of awards shows...if you could star in a movie already made which one would you choose?
Cinderella--killer shoes and a happy ending. What's not to love?

5. The move towards single gender classrooms has been making the news in recent months....what say you?  Do you think kids perform better if separated by gender and are taught differently or is that discrimination?  If you're a parent, is this something you'd support in regard to your own children? 
I teach in a single gender classroom. We homeschool and I only have boys. Although I'm in there too and I'm not a boy. So maybe we're not so gender-specific as I thought. Except that with all that testosterone around I do occasionally have to fight the urge to scratch and spit in public.

6. What's your favorite thing about staying in a hotel?
Someone else makes the bed and they bring you food whenever you want. 

7. Do you have a 'word' for 2013?  What's the story behind your choice? 
I was going to double down and pick something that was really trending, but apparently some job creator at Lake Superior U got hold of a superfood (probably boneless wings) and was inspired to put the job of banishing words on their bucket list. I feel very passionately that we ought to find that language guru and kick their can down the road because *spoiler alert* you only live once, and you ought to be able to use whatever words you choose.

Within reason, of course.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.
My darling granddaughter went to the pediatrician for a check up this week, and she now weighs 10 pounds and 6 ounces. I told her daddy that she was now only 2 ounces shy of his birth weight. Puts a whole new perspective on 32 hours of labor, doesn't it?

He still owes me.