The World Series of Hodgepodges

Not really, but hey, it's still a hodgepodge, and it's still fun. Come on in; the water's fine!

1. How do you typically react in a sudden, extreme, pressure-filled crisis? Would we want you nearby in an emergency?

Hey, everyone would want me around in an emergency! I've had lots of experience with them--married to Indiana Jones and mother to five boys--and I know just what to do. 

First, squelch all instincts to scream in panic. Lower your voice and slow your speech. While in reality you are near hyperventilating, this move will cause those around you to believe you are in complete control. 

Second, call someone. Don't call 911 or some sort of medical personnel because that's too predictable. Instead call your spouse, call a friend--someone to whom you can describe the situation and get their input and opinion. This is a very important step because, if your response turns out to be wrong, you have someone else to blame. 

Third, speak in big words and convey meanings through dramatic speech patterns. For instance, if your child broke his arm, don't say he broke his arm. That will cause him to panic. Instead, discuss the break and the swelling by referring to the enlargement and displacement of the area.

And finally, when the crisis is past, find some place to be alone. Curl up in a fetal position and alternate between sobbing uncontrollably and eating chocolate. I must warn you, though, that this final step is often interrupted by another crisis. At least it is in my house.

2. Caramel apple-caramel sundae-caramel corn-caramel macchiato...of the four, which caramel treat would you choose?

Well I like caramel apples, but I don't like the stupid little circles of caramel that are never big enough to cover the apple. They also tear whenever you try to stretch them. I also don't like attempting to use little caramel squares that are melted so that you can dip your apples in them and coat them. In the first place, unwrapping all those little squares is way more work than it should be, and usually someone's eaten through half the caramels by the time I get around to making the apples, so I never have enough. Except I never realize that until I've already unwrapped all the ones that are left.

Obviously I have issues.

3. Is there such a thing as destiny? Explain.

Yes and no. Destiny is a Marvel Comics cartoon character, known as an adversary of the X-men. Real and yet, not so much.

4. What's your favorite piece of furniture? I'm referring to something currently in your possession as opposed to something on your wish list.

I like my kitchen table. When we bought it, the salesman explained that it was made of distressed wood. Knowing that, I didn't mind so much when our six children stressed it out for real.

5. Wednesday night marks the start of the 2011 Baseball World Series. Did you know? Do you care? Will you be watching? Ever been to a professional baseball game? If you're not an American do you find the title 'World Series' annoying or amusing?

This looks like way more than one question to me. At any rate, I was born and raised a Cubs fan. That means I have no interest in the World Series, and I'm not even sure what it is.

6. A sound that takes me back to my childhood is____________.

The sound of a dishwasher running. Call me crazy, but that blessed sound meant I didn't have to do dishes anymore. Except for everything that didn't fit in the dishwasher. Which, come to think of it, was quite a lot. Okay, now I'm nostalgic and bitter.

7. On average, once you've linked your hodgepodge post to mine how many other participant blogs do you visit? Do you ever come back to the Hodgepodge later in the day or even the day after to read posts?

I don't think I want to answer this question because this is the first time in a month that I've participated in the Hodgepodge and my lack of activity for the past four weeks is sure to skewer my averages. But let me assure you that I'm going to visit as many as possible tomorrow (today) and I will admire every jeweled word. Seriously. Every. Word. Feel better?

8. Insert your own random thought here.

What's the difference between male hunting and female hunting? Male hunting involves weapons and wildlife, sitting out in the elements without moving a muscle for hours at a time, peeing out of doors and not bathing regularly for several days in a row. Female hunting involves malls, credit cards, sales and bargains and lunch out with a couple of friends. Now seriously, which one would you want to participate in?

Me too.