Glasses & Lingerie, Pirates, School and Non-working Toilets

Okay, that title covers a few of the things going on in the Boyd household in the last week. Just a little recap:

Our church had our annual Ladies' Luncheon last Saturday, meaning for two days before hand I got off work and then headed straight to the church to help with decorating. The night before the luncheon, I got home at 11:00, only to find out that one of my boys, who was supposed to help serve the next day, didn't have the required long-sleeved white shirt he thought he did. The one he assured me he had three weeks ago. Indiana bought him one first thing in the morning. He looked a little wrinkled, but he had a white shirt.

That night I also couldn't go to bed right away because there were things scattered all over the bed. In my absence, my husband had decided we needed to do some sorting and cleaning. He had started in the garage and then moved on to his closet (not finishing either project) before deciding to tackle my closet. Would any of you let your husband sort through and organize your things? If so, you're either a better woman than I am, or you're nuts. After my reaction, I doubt he'll be trying that again any time soon.

The luncheon went well, although the toilets stopped working ten minutes before the luncheon started. That made it interesting, with almost seventy women in attendance. Indiana spent the entire afternoon working on the plumbing problem, which did not help his mood. He told me later that he felt like he wasted the entire day because he spent it on the toilet. I found his phrasing quite humorous, although he did not.

I received an invitation this week to a personal shower for my future daughter-in-law. I can't go because she lives too far away, but I am sending a gift. I considered sending flannel pajamas, but since I won't be there and since no one knows me, I'm afraid it won't be quite as funny as I think it is. Guess I'll stick with something a little more traditional. I'm going to go with pretty, long and flowing.

My boys are in the home stretch for the school year. Unfortunately, being this close to finishing does not always translate into inspiring them to work harder or faster. Nicky's been ready to be through with school since February, and for the last four months, teaching him has had all the stimulation of pushing a wheelbarrow full of boulders uphill. Monday I pointed out to him that he would be finished by the end of the week, but even that didn't motivate him. I've pushed and prodded until finally, this morning, he came bounding into the room, happily announcing that today he will finish with school for the summer. Of course, today he stays at home with his dad so apparently he's going to be motivated for him. Figures.

One of the reasons we're in a hurry to be done with school is that we only have three weeks left before we start Vacation Bible School. With all the decorating and planning and details that have to be cared for, we have no time left for such mundane things as getting an education! Our theme this year is Adventure on the High Seas, and among other things, I'm trying to put together pirate costumes for all of our boys. Nicky (I think they voted to make him the challenging child for this summer) told me he doesn't need a costume because he's already put together his own. I've tried to gently point out the fact that, not only does it not look even remotely like a pirate's costume, but it also features a vest that is at least two sizes too small. Alas, the child is stubborn, and I'm not sure I can convince him to give up his idea.

And the child gets his stubborness from the leader of the pack--Indiana Jones himself. After much nagging encouragement on my part, Indiana finally went to get his eyes checked. Since we were pretty sure he would need bifocals, and since I was pretty sure that bifocals and/or progressives would not work for him for a variety of reasons (I know my husband well) I suggested that he get contact lenses, and then use reading glasses. Since he had contacts years ago, he agreed that this was a great idea.

Until the eye doctor talked him out of them.

I still haven't figured out the doctor's reasoning, but my husband ended up ordering progressive lenses. The prescription was off, so he returned to have them corrected. Then the progressive area was too narrow, so he had them widened. Then it still wasn't right, and the glasses were "pulling" at his eyes, so he returned them and went to a different eye doctor. There he got glasses he liked, but they were single vision lenses and he couldn't see to read. So he had progressive lenses put in, and ordered a second pair of single vision glasses. He thinks he will like these progressive lenses, but when he got home with them yesterday, he noticed that his frames weren't quite straight so he tried to fix them--and popped the lens out. He did that several times last night, and would not leave them alone in spite of my nagging urging him to take them back to the vision center and get them fixed properly. I finally left him messing with them while I went to bed--but only after pointing out that he had now gone through five pairs of glasses, trying to find ones that worked for him.

So there you have it last week at a glance. And upcoming? Three weeks of finishing school, working full time and VBS planning, followed by a week of VBS and working part time, then packing and preparing for our trip and working full time before we leave for the wedding. And somewhere in there I'm supposed to be planning the rehearsal dinner. Oh, and did I mention my dress for the wedding is too big? That's a nice problem to have except that now I either have to pay to have it altered, or I have to shop for another dress. That would be in my free time. Except that most stores aren't open between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.

Good times. So what are you doing with your summer?

A Wedding Education

I firmly believe, and I have often told my children, that my job from the time they are born is to train and educate them until they become mature, independent adults that are capable of functioning on their own and contributing to the world in which they find themselves a part. As they get older, every once in a while a situation arises with opportunities for learning and experiencing new things. I always try to take advantage of those situations because it's my job to make sure my children are as well-equipped as I can make them for life.

Since Matt's the oldest, we always seem to be breaking new ground with him, experience-wise. He was the first to graduate from high school, the first to go off to college, and now--the first to get married.

When wedding talk first started, I suddenly realized that Matt had little experience with weddings. Up to this point he'd been in two. Once as a ringbearer at the age of four, and the second as a groomsman his senior year in high school. Neither time was he involved in planning the wedding. He simply wore what he was told to wear, showed up when he was supposed to and did what he was told. And although sometimes that's all the groom is required to do, I thought he ought to know a few wedding planning basics before his first trip up to Kylee's and their first wedding-planning session.

The thing is, Matt--like his dad--is a big picture guy. Details are not his thing. Weddings are, of course, made up of hundreds of details that have to be decided and coordinated. Kylee is both extremely organized and creative, but I knew she would want at least some input and help from Matt in putting their special day together. So in preparing him for the months of planning to come, I started by asking a few general questions, just to find out if they'd already discussed any details. Matt's answers to most things were, "I don't know" or "whatever Kylee wants".

On the surface that might sound like a very generous guy who wanted whatever made his bride happy. While that is true of Matt, I also saw below the surface. It also meant "that's something I don't want to have to deal with." There were a few things he would have to deal with, I insisted. The tuxes, for instance usually fell in the groom's realm of decision-making.

"Oh, we're having tuxes," he told me, obviously relieved to have one decision made.

"But there's a lot of decisions to make about the tuxes," I pressed.

"Like what?"

"Tails, no tails. Color, cut, cumberbund, vest, tie, bowtie ..." I trailed off as his eyes glazed over. "It won't be that hard," I encouraged. "Has Kylee picked her colors yet?"

"Uh, yeah." He brightened at being able to answer a question. "Purple and green."

What she actually has picked is a very dark purple, almost an eggplant, and a much lighter shade of green. The colors are beautiful together. However, the way Matt said them made me think of a certain favorite children's dinosaur.

"Purple and green? You're having a Barney wedding?" I couldn't resist messing with him a little.

"No!" He explained the colors and I nodded thoughtfully. "So which color will the tuxes be--purple or green?"

"Neither!" He answered. A look of hesitation crossed his face, and then more forcefully, "Neither!"

I asked if he'd picked bridal attendants yet, and he stared at me blankly. "I don't know what those are."

"Groomsmen?"

"Oh. My brothers."

That was nice. Matt has four brothers. "How many bridesmaids is Kylee going to have?" He didn't know. "You do realize you're supposed to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, right?"

The conversation continued as Matt told me they were getting married at Kylee's church, something I'd expected, and that her pastor would be performing the ceremony.

Everything else stopped as I almost completely lost it. Matt's father is a pastor. Why would he not have his own father perform the ceremony? How could he do this to his dad? Didn't he realize his dad would be crushed? Surely Kylee's pastor would understand Matt wanting to have his own dad do the ceremony. Surely Kylee would understand that. All he had to do was speak up. His dad would never say anything, but it would just destroy him if his own son didn't ask him to do his ceremony! "How could you do this to your dad?" I demanded.

Matt looked uncertain. "I was going to ask him to be my best man," he answered. "But if you don't think  that's right--"

I assured him that his dad would be fine with that.

Sometimes I think we're raising that boy right after all.