Uh, Excuse Me ...

I hope you don't mind my taking over the blog again--I'm Jill's computer. We talked at Christmas, remember? She was doing Christmas shopping? Anyway, you may have noticed she's been away from the blog a lot this week, and I thought I could explain why.

She's sick.

Nothing serious, just a sinus infection, but it's made her very hard to live with. At least, that's what I hear murmured around the house. I wouldn't know because she's always been kind to me. Sort of.

So since she can't be here, I'm getting a little bored and I thought I'd just say hi.

Hi.

Actually, I guess I sort of lied. A little bit. Jill is usually kind to me, but she did something Wednesday that really upset me. I'm sure you know what Wednesday was. Big press situation. Everyone around the world covering it. No, I don't mean the State of the Union address. I'm talking about Apple's latest. You know. The thing. (whispering)

Hey, I'm proud to be part of Apple. Who wouldn't want to be labeled with that half-eaten logo they have on everything. It's a standard to be proud of. And innovation is one of the things that makes our company so great. I mean, look at me! I don't need a tower. I have USB ports in my keyboard. And my software! I can teach you to play an instrument, help you design a movie, write music, organize and produce your photos ... I have it all! Except ...

Well, for a little while I was everything. Apple made ipods and itouch and iphones, but they all docked   with me for their battery charging. A lot of times they got their downloads from me. I was the anchor that held our universe together.

Well now the very "anchor" part may be my undoing. After all, I'm not portable. When someone came home they would plug in their other devices during their down time. And now Apple has invented the thing. It's not just a computer. It's not a laptop. It's like a computer, phone, ipod and everything else all rolled into one. Who can compete with that? I'm still fairly new and I see a lot of dust in my future.

So what did Jill do? She researched the ipad. That's right. She used me to look up the details on the ipad. She even...I can barely say this...watched a video demonstration. On me!

I'm still bitter.

So anyway, I thought I'd stop in and say hi. You know. While I have the chance. Hope your week was better than mine.

*sniff*

And if she blogs Monday about a new acquisition, well, it's been nice knowing you.

*sniff*

Random ... Well, You Know The Rest

Time for another random dozen questions. Although there's not always a theme, this week's questions revolve around patience. Here we go!

1. How good are you at delaying gratification?

This covers a broad range of topics. There's the wait 20 minutes to eat something and your craving will go away (I usually nibble on chocolate while I'm waiting) to the don't buy something on credit--wait until you can actually afford it. I can do that. I can't afford not to.

2. Maybe a marshmallow wouldn't be too difficult a temptation for you. What food (or anything else) would be most tempting?

Temptations would depend on my mood and my situation at the moment. For instance, I was really tempted to stay in bed this morning, but I didn't. The tenth time that snooze went off, I forced myself to get up!

3. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being saintly) how patient are you?

The Bible says that "tribulation worketh patience".  I don't want tribulation, so I don't pray for patience much. I'm probably a 4.

4. Have you ever waited for something in life only to be disappointed upon realization of the goal/object/etc.?

Nope. Every time I've waited until the meal was over to begin dessert, the ice cream was just as good as I anticipated!

5. Are you a person who takes shortcuts?

Only if I know for sure that it's actually a shortcut, and not another way to get there that takes as long or longer than the first way. Huh?

6. Which line is hardest to wait in?

Is there an easy line to wait in? Can I have that one?

7. Did you wait to discover the gender of your unborn child until its birth?

The first one we were surprised. (Boy) We found out the gender on all the others before they were born:  girl, boy, boy, boy, boy.  After a while we kept discovering the gender, but we weren't all that surprised anymore.

8. Are you more patient with children or the elderly?

I'm probably more patient with children because they rarely drive their Buicks 15 miles below the speed limit in the fast lane.

9. Did you ever sneak a peek at a present?

Only twice. The first time, my mom was selling toys at home parties around Christmas time. One day she left me and some of my siblings in the car while she ran into the bank. We flipped open the boxes in the back to see what she had because we knew that's where our presents were coming from. The thrill (and subsequent guilt) of sneaking overshadowed everything else, and I didn't even remember anything I'd seen in the box.

The other time I peaked into the room where my mom was wrapping Christmas gifts and I saw a toy phone that I knew was for me. I announced to everyone, including my mom, that I was getting a toy phone for Christmas. I was excited right up until I unwrapped the package. Then I realized that waiting was half the fun and I never did it again. I never did enjoy that toy phone very much.

10. What is the longest you've ever waited for anything?

That would be when I waited ten days beyond my due date for our daughter to be born. Or the thirty-two hours of labor I went through before Matt was born.

11. Who has more patience, you or your significant other?

During labor he had more patience. He was annoying that way.

12. Which of the following songs about waiting is your pick for the best? (OK, you may substitute another, if you like.)



A) Anticipation by Carly Simon

B) The Waiting by Tom Petty

C) Right Here Waiting for You by Richard Marx

D) Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James

I don't really know these songs, but if Anticipation is the one they used to sing for the commercial (was it syrup or ketchup?) while they waited for it to pour out of the bottle, then I'll pick that one.

If you want to join in with your own answers, or if you'd like to read random answers from random other bloggers, click the link at the top of the post!

London Bridges Please Don't Fall Down!

I have something to confess. I am afraid of bridges. I always have been. I've just learned that this is a condition known as gephyrophobia. That would be a fear of bridges.

My family knows I'm afraid of bridges--especially drawbridges. They dealt with the issue by taunting me whenever we were going over a drawbridge. Nice family.

I don't think I'm afraid of bridges themselves, actually. I think I'm more afraid of the heights that they have to go to in order to span whatever it is you want to cross. The fear of heights thing would also be called acrophobia. I'm also afraid of falling from those tremendous heights. That fear of falling would be called bathophobia. (I guess that term stems from fear of falling into the water that most bridges span, and then being doused with soap.) And then too, I'm afraid of being trapped on bridges. You know, when they start crashing from their tremendous heights and sending its occupants plunging into a reluctant bath. That fear of being trapped would be claustrophobia.

I'm not sure where all this fear of bridges came into being, but I think I can basically blame it on two things: dreams and television. For years I've had a recurring dream that I'm driving across a very tall bridge. As I get closer, the bridge keeps getting higher until it assumes rollercoaster proportions. It also sways in a very unsteady way as I struggle to the top. It's only when I reach the top of the bridge that I realize there's no road down on the other side. Trust me, if you dreamed that you would be afraid of bridges too.

I'm afraid of drawbridges because of watching television. Seriously. Think of any show or movie that has a drawbridge in it. If there's a drawbridge in the picture, it's going to open at the wrong time and either a car or a person is going to be dangling from it. There's no reason for the drawbridge to be in the picture unless something's going to go wrong. I don't like drawbridges.

So there you have it. I have gephyrophobia, which feeds my acrophobia, bathophobia and claustrophobia.

What about you? Got any fears you want to share? 100 meaningless points if you know the "phobia" name that goes with your fear. I'll read your comments when I finish putting a psychiatrist on speed dial.

NOTE:  While I reserve the right to use your fear as a trait for a character in one of my novels, I promise to give you full credit and spell your name correctly in the acknowledgements.

Major Triumph!

It finally happened! The day that I've so longed for is here! I just can't believe it!

If you've followed my blog for very long, you know that I've had less than stellar results in the kitchen. I'm not a bad cook--I'm just not a very good one. I tend to have more than my share of mishaps.

Since my skills are less than I desire, my confidence is also a little lacking. I've blogged here about my problems in coming up with suitable dishes to bring to our church potlucks. As I've mentioned, I'm a middle-of-the-road kind of cook. I aim for mediocrity and hope not to be the one who produces food that everyone avoids.

As I am not the first name that comes to mind when looking for recipes, imagine my surprise and joy when someone actually asked me for a recipe this week! In fact, two people actually asked me for recipes. Actually, they asked me for two different recipes! Earlier this week someone asked for the recipe for my venison stew. Then, also this week, for random dozen, I mentioned that my favorite dish to fix is Italian meatloaf. Incredibly, someone asked for that recipe too! Two recipe requests in the same day! I feel the need to warn you that life as we know it may be coming to an end.

In the meantime, here's the "recipe" for Italian meatloaf. Will you be less impressed when I tell you nothing's measured?

Mix 2 lbs. of ground beef with onion salt, pepper, italian seasoning, one egg and italian bread crumbs. Press the meat mixture out into a rectangular shape on top of a sheet of aluminum foil. Line the meat with pepperoni slices and grated mozarella cheese. Use the foil to help fold the meat roll together, pinching ends and sealing seams tightly. Bake in a 9x13 dish at 350 degrees for one hour. Remove from oven, slice and top with Ragu pizza sauce.

Now, lest you think I'm going to get a big head, I will assure you that I am as unsure of myself as always in the kitchen. We have another church fellowship this Sunday, and I signed up for my usual so that I can hold my head high.

Once again, I'm bringing the ice.

Another Random Dozen!

1. So I was thinking about how Jon Bon Jovi never seems to age much. His hair is smaller nowadays, but he still manages to look like a boy somehow. And then that made me think of the story of Dorian Gray. Question: If you physically lock in one age for yourself, which would you choose and why?

I think 8 is a good age. You're old enough to read, dress yourself and take care of your own bathroom needs, but you're also young enough to have more playtime than work time, and it's still okay to whine or cry once in a while.

2. What is the best dish that you cook or bake (your piece de resistance?)

Well I like my pyrex rectangular dish with the green lid ... oh, wait! You meant the actual food? Okay, I'd have to say Italian meatloaf--meatloaf stuffed with pepperoni and mozarella cheese, topped with pizza sauce. Add a side of smashed potatoes and nobody can resist it. 

3. When you feel blue, what is one strategy you use to help yourself back to normal?

Stop holding my breath.

4. When was the last time you danced in public?

Does rolling on the floor laughing count?

5. Do you consider yourself a realist or dreamer?

I dream of being a realist.

6. As a parent, what is one thing that you have done well?

Given birth. I've done it six times now, and I'm practically an expert. I'm thinking of starting a consulting business.

7. Which is your favorite character on the Andy Griffith show?

Aunt Bea's pickles.

8. On a scale of 1-10, how much do you know about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.?

I think 5 is a good number to give on any scale. You're acknowledging you're not an expert, but you're also showing that you're not an idiot with your head in the sand. I'm going to go with 5.

9. Have you never been mellow? Have you never tried … to find a comfort from in side you? (Sorry, Jorge was singing that song just now, and it just seemed to be perfect timing as I was creating this week’s questions.) REAL question: What is your #1 driving pet peeve?

I'm an impatient driver, and I have a lot of pet peeves. One of the worst is when someone who is advanced in age gets in the left lane and goes five miles under the speed limit. I live in Florida. It happens more than you can imagine.

10. Which color best represents your mood today? Care to elaborate?

I'm best represented by an entire box of crayons. I could never settle for just one color.

11. If your spouse were an animal, which would he/she be?

A cougar. He's not flashy like a tiger or dominating like a lion. Neither is he sneaky like a panther. He's simply his own man and the best at who he is and what he does. (Brownie points today, baby!)

12. What activity takes up the bulk of your time on an average day?

Living.


If you'd like to join in and do your own Random Dozen, then click the link at the top of the post!

What's That?

Like most companies, we use computers at work. We use the internet, Word, Excel, etc. Most of the time we print mailing labels from the post office website. But once in a while we have an envelope or package that needs a different label. For those times we have an electric typewriter that sits in the corner. Sometimes it's just easier to sit down, throw an envelope in and type out the address.

Today happened to be one of those days when I was at the typewriter for a few moments. The boys are at work with me today, and Luke happened to wander over to tell me something. He was absolutely fascinated, watching the address being typed onto the envelope. Then he asked me what this machine was.

Seriously?

My first job out of college I worked on a typewriter. It had memory and some word processing capabilities, but it was still a typewriter. That wasn't all that long ago, was it?

My kids find it amazing that my family didn't have a microwave until I was in high school. They've already commented on the fact that when we watched movies, it was on those "cartidge/tape things". Yeah, that was videos we played in the VCR. They asked me if we had anything like Nintendo or X-Box when I was growing up. I tried to explain the joys of Atari 5200 and games like "Pitfall Harry" and "Shipwrecked", but they stare at me blankly.

All of this wasn't really that long ago (relatively speaking), but how quickly the world has changed! What about you? What seemed new to you at one time, but is now obsolete?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Sometimes I am so amazed at the grasp my children have on Biblical things. They've been in church all their lives, so it shouldn't surprise me, I guess. But seeing Biblical events through their eyes gives a whole fresh new meaning to faith and belief. I believe every word of the Bible. I believe the events it describes are literal actual events. I believe the people of the Bible really lived. But something about hearing it from my children's point of view ... well here--take a look:

We were listening to a sermon about the valley of dry bones in Ezekiel. The passage says they became a living, breathing army. One of my boys wanted to know if the army went back to where they lived before and got married and had kids who could say, "my dad used to be dead".

After a sermon on Noah's ark, one of the boys lodged on to the fact that the Bible says God shut the door of the ark seven days before it started to rain. He wanted to know if someone knocked and asked to be let in during that time, could they be saved on the ark too. I told him God shut the door, so it would have been up to God whether or not to let them in.

The boys were playing with G.I. Joes, and were discussing the biggest war ever. One of them said, "the biggest war we'll ever be in is ... what's that word that starts with an 'A'?"

"Armageddon?"

"Yeah. That one. We get to ride horses."

"I hope mine's white."

"I want mine to be gold."

I believe we'll be coming back on horses with Jesus for Armageddon because the Bible says so. But I never really thought about the color of my horse.

Through the eyes of a child. My boys definitely keep the Bible fresh for me.

How about you? Anything from God's Word really blessed your heart or stood out lately? Whether it's a favorite Bible story or a favorite verse, share it in the comments. Give me some fresh eyes.