Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Shopper's Version of "'Twas The Night Before Christmas"

Following along with yesterday's blog about Christmas shopping, I thought you might appreciate this shopper's take on "'Twas The Night Before Christmas". I didn't write it, but I like it all the same.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town
Shoppers were busy, speeding around.
A gift for Aunt Martha, a bathrobe for dad
And a Tickle-Me Elmo was not to be had.

I was buckled tight into my seatbelt with hope
That I had not yet reached the end of my rope
And with a great twist, my car key did turn
From my driveway I sped, and I made rubber burn.

And through the bright streets, all covered with lights
I sped like a rabbit, all shiv'ring with fright
I searched high and low, through the streets I did weave
To find a store open this late Christmas Eve.

The toy shop was closing. I raced to the door.
I begged and I pleaded, I cried and implored.
But I was condemned, some more I would roam
For all the employees were going straight home.

Home was the place that I wanted to be
But alas there was nothing but air neath the tree.
So I sped to the Wal-Mart for some last minute shopping
The parking was jammed, the store it was hopping.

I pressed into the store through an exiting crowd,
A large mass of people, all noisy and loud.
Like locusts these people had shopped with great care
And left all the shelves quite empty and bare.

I found an employee who stood by the door,
And grabbed at his vest, lifting him from the floor
"Just five measly gifts! I don't care what they are!
I'll give you my wallet! I'll give you my car!"

"We have nothing left," the poor man did squeak.
"We won't get a shipment 'til later this week."
I ran to my car and my heart did melt
I kicked at the tire and then shouted, "Won't someone please help!"

But time was a wasting as darkness fell down
Merchants were closing all over the town.
The toy store, the book store, the Wal-Mart, oh my!
The Good Guys and Best Buy, and Sears was my cry!

And now I was feeling the worst of my fears;
My children would hate me for twenty-five years.
A sign in the distance my eyes did catch
"Open 24 Hours" there was no lock, no latch.

For Tommy a Slurpee, for Ann a Slim Jim.
A liter of Diet Pepsi for my lovely wife, Kim.
A dozen of donuts for my big boy Matt,
And a Snickers candy bar for Paul and his cat.

In just a few minutes I got my shopping done,
And headed right home for some holiday fun.
As I turned at the corner and drove out of sight,
I thanked 7-11 for being open all night!

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