When we were blissfully ignorant parents-to-be for the first time, we attended Lamaze classes and faithfully practiced at home. Unfortunately, I never did get the breathing patterns down right. At least, that's why I'm chalking Lamaze up as a giving-birth-coping-mechanism-failure. Terry, on the other hand, took to coaching like a natural. I think it's because the term coach conjures up some mental image of sports. Or maybe he just naturally likes to be in charge and tell people what to do. At any rate,
"Breathe...two...three...four; breathe...two...three...four..."
It never worked very well for giving birth, but the concept has stuck with me through the years. I think I would have studied and practiced harder if I'd realized that Lamaze isn't just something for the labor and delivery room. It's a coping method needed throughout my life as a parent.
*When the kids would scream because they were about to get immunization shots ...
*When I sat at the health department for hours, wrestling six screaming kids while waiting to get immunization shots ...
Breathe...two...three...four; breathe...two...three...four...
*When I had to wash Stephanie's hair four times to get all the clumps out after she and her brothers had a mud fight ...
*When I picked up the pieces to the last remaining music box in my collection, after the kids had broken all the others through the years ...
In...two...three...four; out...two...three...four...
*When I sat through a competition performance and hid my own anxiety because I had to calm down the ones who were performing ...
*When I watched all six kids jumping on the trampoline at the same time--and coming within centimeters of smashing their heads against the edges numerous times ...
*When Matt informed me that he wanted to invite a girl he'd met twice to come stay with us for a week during VBS ...
*When Matt answered my "why" question with, "Because she's hot."
*When Luke kept waking up during the night because he was having nightmares about snakes ...
Take a breath...two...three...four...and now another...two...three...
*When Joel was diagnosed with meningitis when he was six days old ...
*When Matt accidentally electrocuted himself with a 220 plug while we were living in Uganda ...
*When Stephanie had to have surgery because we discovered she'd been walking around with an inch long piece of toothpick buried in her foot for over a month ...
You can do this...three...four; another breathe...two...three...four
*When I taught Matt to drive ...
*When I taught Stephanie to drive ...
*When I taught Luke to drive ...
Get back in your lane!...two...three...put your blinker on!...one...two...
*When I visited the emergency room with Nicky for his broken collarbone ...
*When I visited the emergency room a month later with Paul, who needed eleven stitches just above his eyebrow ...
*When I visited the emergency room a month later with Joel, who had broken both wrists ...
We can get through this...three...four; they'll be fine...one...two...
*When my firstborn said "I do" to the girl of his dreams ...
*When my daughter told me she was dating a wonderful man who is studying to be a missionary ...
*When Luke started looking at college options ...
In...two...three...four; out...two...three...four
Who knew Lamaze would come in so handy? It's gotten me through all these momentous (and sometimes dangerous) life moments. Like tonight when we go to Luke's high school graduation ceremony. There'll be pictures and smiles, celebrations, memories and a diploma. And underneath it all you may hear my coach murmuring,
You can do this...two...three...four...you'll make it through this...two...three...four...
Congrats to Luke! You know, I never realized you had a daughter. Isn't that crazy? Maybe I thought pictures of your daughter were actually your daughter in law. I've confused myself. (which isn't at all hard!)
ReplyDelete~FringeGirl
Yeah, the breathing thing didn't work for me either. When the pain got intense I forgot all about breathing. PERIOD. I never thought about putting the technique into practice with just life in general. I'm going to have to do that...Thanks!
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