If It's Wednesday ...

... it must be Random Dozen Day!

Okay, you know the drill. Read the questions. Laugh at the answers. (Or nod thoughtfully if I happen to get really insightful.) Leave a comment. Then click the link and head over to 2nd Cup of Coffee to read other answers.

1. How do you feel about "Gladiator" sandals, also called "Roman" or "Jesus" sandals? A fashion yea or nay?

Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em as long as they come without the whole facing-the-lions-in-the-coliseum thing.

2. What is your favorite pizza?

I like The Works from Papa John's. (That's right, folks, it's a serious answer! And probably as insightful as I'll get all day.)

3. There are plans in the works to sell roughly 1,000 items from Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas. This means you could buy Picard's chair for your family room. If not a Star Trek item, what prop, background, set, etc. from what TV or movie would you buy if you could?
[Ex: Hurley's "I Love my Shih tzu" shirt from LOST, the plantation home "Tara" from Gone With the Wind, or Tracy's tambourine from the Partridge Family.]

I think I'd really like Barney Fife's bullet or the ottoman Dick Van Dyke always tripped over. Maybe I could display the bullet on the ottoman. Right next to a jar of Aunt Bee's pickles.

4. Name a local food or restaurant that your area is famous for.

Anything with Mickey Mouse ears.

5. What is your current favorite snack?

I would love to have a big, soft pretzel from Aunt Annies, washed down with a lemonade from Chik-fil-a and then topped off with a mocha frappe from McDonalds. But since I'm dieting, I usually reach for an apple or some yogurt.

6. Hypothetical: You are required to be a reality show contestant. Which show would you choose based on your probability of success? (You cannot choose "none.")

A. Dancing with the Stars
B. Biggest Loser
C. Survivor

I would start my own reality show called, Can I Have Some Estrogen, Please? The show features a woman living with all male relatives while trying to maintain some semblance of femininity in her life. The show will end when she finally gains possession of the remote control.

7. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being uninhabitable and 10 being cleanliness that meets the standards of OCD, how clean is your vehicle's interior?

Cleaner than my garage, but not as clean as my house. (Which is still not saying much!)

8. It doesn't feel like Spring until _________.

---it pokes up through the couch cushion.

9. Something that made you laugh really hard recently is ____.

Paul's idea of encouragement. While on a bike ride with his younger brother he was heard yelling, "You want some of that ice cream that's in the freezer? You gotta earn it! Pedal faster!" 

10. Tell me about a goal you're working toward.

Two words:  toned and tanned. Okay, well really it's probably closer to losing weight and getting a little sunburned, but a girl can dream, can't she?

11. Share a thought-provoking or inspiring quote this week.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much - Oscar Wilde.

12. Name one thing that you do as a parent that you absolutely know will make your kids happy. If you're not a parent, feel free to substitute "friend" or nomenclature that works for you.

Letting them sleep in; giving them ice cream for breakfast; taking them for all-you-can-eat pancakes at IHOP ... don't you wish I was your mom? (If you're my age, please don't say yes because then I will be depressed all day!)

Road Kill

For those of you that have been wondering what happened to me, (I'm pretending there are some) I have a very good reason for falling off the blogosphere map.

Life ran over me.

It took me a while to drag myself to the curb, and then I had to wait for EMT's. I am now recuperating and ready to attempt getting back on the information superhighway.

I will return tomorrow with a regularly scheduled post, which will be the Random Dozen. For anyone who remembers I was in the middle of a memory for Monday's Memories, I will post that on Thursday because I see no reason for you to wait for another Monday just because I couldn't even get my memory down on Tuesday. Just remember that I can't do it on Wednesday because that is Random Dozen day. And Friday just seems to long to wait for Monday's memories. And since I don't usually post on Saturdays and Sundays those days are out too.

Now I've fulfilled my goal of using all the days on the week in one paragraph. Have a good day and I'll see you all tomorrow.

That would be Wednesday, wouldn't it?

Bad Mommy!

I know it's very late. Well, late for a Friday post, that is. I had a great post for today, a roll-on-the-floor-laugh-out-loud kind of post. About why males never outgrow the need to figuratively pull a girl's pigtails. Even when that girl is his wife. Even when that girl doesn't wear pigtails.

But I didn't post it.

Sorry.

Maybe next week.

I didn't get much sleep last night, and I woke up just in time to get ready and rush off to work with no time to spend in the glories of blogland. When that happens, I usually just skip the day and start off fresh on Monday. But Monday is about memories, and I'm in the middle of the story of my quest for a doctor when we lived in Uganda.

So instead I thought I would blog about Motherhood.

Why is it that all my best efforts at being the world's best mommy backfire? I know I'm not perfect, but those times when I really try to reach new heights, why does everything turn worse than it ever was before?

Case in point:  one time I wanted to take all the kids to the park, something we hadn't done in a while. Joel didn't want to go, but I made him. He ended up falling out of a swing and breaking both his wrists. (Hint:  this link is to the beginning of a continuing post. Keep clicking on the new post link at the bottom of the post to read the whole story.) He spent Thanksgiving Day in a couple of casts because I wanted to be a good mommy.

You'd think something like that would discourage me, but I never learn. Today I decided to go on another bike ride. I took up riding because they have some great trails here in Florida, and I thought it would be a good way to get some exercise and spend time with my boys. Nicky didn't want to go, but I insisted. We're going to have quality time together, or die trying!

Nicky is the only boy who doesn't have a geared bike. So he has to pedal twice as much and twice as hard as the rest of us. We each took a turn riding back with him, but he really lagged behind. He wanted to stop and rest. He complained of a headache. (Nicky's been whining most of the week because of his sunburn, so I didn't take him too seriously.)

At least, I didn't take him too seriously until he skipped supper. Then he started throwing up. Then he started running a raging high fever.

I made my poor, sick baby go on a 10 mile bike ride.

Bad mommy!

I'm spending this weekend taking care of him and doing penance. I'll be back on Monday.

Have a good weekend!

Randomly on the Random Dozen

I usually try to have one particular theme or thought in mind when I do a post, but this is going to be a scattergun type message. Just thought I ought to warn you.

First, I'm totally amazed and relieved to find out how many people also think time to make the donuts when they have to get up in the morning. And here I thought I was weird. Turns out I'm perfectly normal.

Or I know a lot of weird people.

Second, I said St. Bernards look cool. And I do think they'd be handy to have around if I got lost on a mountain. That being said, I have no desire to have a big, drooling dog on the premises.

I have enough males in the house to handle that little chore already.

Third, as I mentioned before, beware of the hazards of randomly applied sunscreen.

As you can see, Nicky wore sunscreen on the middle of his forehead, but he missed the sides and the part of his face under his eyes. He's been hurting, peeling and itching for two days now. Yes, I took a picture of my child while he was sleeping.

Joel's blotchy forehead is the result of slapping a little suncreen here and there, without checking to make sure he was adequately covered.

Joel did better the next time, but he missed the area under his eyes. That's not a black eye--that's sunburn.

Paul avoided blotchiness by not using any sunscreen at all. He's much brighter red than he appears in the picture.

Fourth, we usually have five or six males living in this house at all times. There's always a lot of testosterone around here. This past week we had eight males here. My house was turned into a guys' dorm, both in looks and in smell. I think I'm going to have to wear pink and watch chick flicks for a week to regain my estrogen balance. Otherwise I'm going to have the overwhelming urge to burp and scratch myself.

Musicals anyone?




Almost forgot! Yes, I did accidentally link to Lid's Random Dozen twice. I don't function well that late at night. Or that early in the morning. Or ... well, you get the idea.

Randomly April

Would you look at the time! It's random dozen again over at 2nd Cup of Coffee. Read my answers, then click on the link to read other answers and link up with your own. And make sure you leave some comments because people always like comments.

1. Define a great relationship.

Batman and Robin. They were always there for each other, they had each other's back and they worked well as a team. The yellow tights would have been a deal-breaker for me, but apparently Robin was able to get past them.

2. Why is it called a "drive-through" if you have to stop? (Real question: What was the last food/drink you purchased at a drive-through?)

I actually wanted a mocha frappe from McDonald's last night so I pulled into the line. But then there were almost a dozen cars in the drive-through, and none of them were moving, so I pulled out and went home. I still want a frappe.

3. As I type this, the Butler Bulldogs are getting ready to play in the NCAA championship game. Every Hoosier is hysterical about this except me. So in honor of the Bulldogs ... what is your favorite breed of dog? (I tried.)

I always thought St. Bernards were kind of cool. And so handy to have around if you got lost and injured in the mountains.

4. If you had to move to a state besides the one you currently live in, where would you move?

I am fundamentally against moving because I hate packing and unpacking. So I guess I'll have to stick to living in paradise.

5. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I would have driven a car that didn't always die in the middle of Lake Street and Fifth Avenue. Kind of a dangerous intersection for a stalled car.

6. Who's the funniest person you know?

Do you mean actually know? Or just know of? Because I've never actually met the Lumberjack's Wife, but I know her through blogging and she is usually pretty funny. Her last post had to do with a lot of bodily fluids, and it was really hysterical.

7. Did you get enough sleep last night?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Wait, what was the question?

8. What's the first thing you thought about this morning?

Time to make the donuts. Okay, that's from that old Dunkin Donuts commercial, but that really is what I think sometimes when the alarm goes off. Small wonder I have trouble dieting!

9. Grilled or Fried? --HONESTLY

I would prefer to be neither, but thanks for asking.

10. Are you afraid of the dark?

Not if there's a light on.

11.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A wife and mother. Hey, look at me! I'm livin' the dream!

12. If you had one word to describe yourself , what would you choose?

Does it have to be a word that actually describes me or just a word that I would like to use to describe me? Because I like the words "rich" and "beautiful", but there not actually words that are usually associated with me. Hey, I've got an idea! In the comments, why don't you leave a word that you think describes me?


Okay, ready? set? Link! (Wait a minute! What about your comments?!)

Easter Lessons

I hope you all had a great weekend. We celebrated Easter by leading two people to the Lord on visitation Saturday morning. We also had great services at church, with sermons on how the empty tomb affected others, and the different responses of people to the Crucifixion. It was interesting to note that, while the high priest was questioning Jesus, he rent his clothing when he declared that Jesus was blaspheming. Priests' garments were holy and were never to be rent or torn. When the high priest tore his clothing, he actually disqualified himself from the priesthood, thus leaving the way open for Jesus to become our High Priest by offering one sacrifice for all sin forever.

We also had great music, including a solo from one of Matt's friends that's visiting from school. This friend sang, "Then Came the Morning", one of my favorite songs.

Along with the major importance of the Resurrection, we also had some fun and enjoyment and learned a few minor lessons this weekend.

Lesson #1: The kitchen is still not a place where I exhibit great skill. We had a delicious meal, but I broke four fingernails and cut myself twice trying to prepare the food. I need a cook.

Lesson #2: You can actually burn baked beans in the crockpot. After that, they can be hidden in the microwave while you serve the rest of dinner. But one of the boys will ask about them, and then later they will discover the discarded dish in the microwave when they're cleaning up.

Lesson #3: Sunscreen works well, but only if you use it.

Lesson #4: Sunscreen will only work where you use it. 

Our boys were sunburned on Friday after going out on the boat. I gave them all sunscreen, but most of them ignored it. Joel put it on haphazardly, giving himself a weird, striped zebra sunburn. Paul and Nicky were both painfully red.

Today, the guys all went fishing and swimming in the ocean. Again they mostly ignored the sunscreen. They're all lobsters now. Nicky put sunscreen on his face, but he missed the sides of his face, so he has a white streak down the middle and sunburn on either side. Joel missed the area under his eyes, so his face is white except for deep red marks under the eyes. He now looks like a zombie child. I'd show you pictures, but they all fell asleep while I was charging the battery to my camera. I'll have to post zombie pictures later.

In spite of the pain and suffering, a good time was had by all. So how was your weekend?

Moms on Adrenalin

So you've heard of the mom that was so filled with adrenalin, she lifted a car by herself in order to free her trapped child. What, you mean you haven't heard of that? Well you should have. It's urban legend. An average mom can suddenly be filled with superhuman strength or abilities when it comes to taking care of her children.

And sometimes she can find herself in very unusual circumstances for the same reason ...

While serving as missionaries in Uganda, we lived in a small town on the border between Uganda and Kenya. Once a month my husband would make the eight hour round trip to Kampala, the capital city of Uganda. He would pick up our support money for the month. He would also shop for meat, cheese, milk, and some other things that were difficult to find in our small town. Often he also had to deal with the myriad of paperwork involved in serving in a third world country. All of this took a great deal of time, so these monthly trips usually involved two or three days. We had another missionary family staying near us, and the two men decided to make the regular trip into Kampala together.

The men had been gone for about a day when my two youngest children got sick. Joel and Nicky were two and one years old at the time, and both started running high fevers. Joel kept vomiting until he had nothing left on his stomach, and Nicky's fever shot up to 105 degrees.

One of the things I had been given before I left for the mission field was a book entitled, Where There Is No Doctor. I think the title's self-explanatory. Anytime one of the kids came down with something that was not easily identifiable, I'd haul out the book and compare symptoms. "Okay, so there's fever and vomiting, but no headache, so I think we can rule out typhoid." It was an interesting book, but it didn't do much to diagnose my kids that day.

As Nicky's fever climbed higher, I got a little frantic. None of the children's tylenol I had was doing much to bring the fever down. My husband wouldn't be home for two more days, but my children needed help now.

Unfortunately, there were not a lot of medical options in our small town. In Ugandan schools, 30 is considered a passing grade. I wanted a doctor that got more than thirty percent right on his medical tests. I was discussing the problem with Lisa, the other missionary wife, when she had an idea.

Lisa had heard a rumor that there were American doctors in Mbale, a town thirty minutes north of us. She thought they were going to be starting an orthopaedic clinic that was funded by a mission organization. We didn't know if the rumor was true. We didn't know if they'd even started building their clinic, or if it was something planned in the future. We didn't know exactly where in Mbale it was located. So we did the only thing we could.

We went looking for them.

We loaded all eight kids (her two and my six) into our Isuzu Trooper, and set off on a quest to find medical help for my children.

This post is part of my Monday Memories. Part Two of a Mother on Adrenalin will be posted next Monday. In the meantime, what unusual things has motherhood called you to do?

To read the next installment of this memory, click here.