Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Say Cheese!

Today is Church Directory Picture Day. Well, not nationally, I don't think. But here at our church it is. This is our first "official" picture as the new pastor and his family, so--no pressure.

What with setting things up for the photographer, and getting ready to check people in, not to mention trying to get my own family presentable for pictures (no small fete if you remember), I thought I'd take a few moments to procrastinate and list here all the things that are par for the course on such a monumental occasion.

1.  It is raining. Naturally. A drenching, everything's going to get wet no matter what you do or how you hold the umbrella rain.

2.  It's humid and cool outside.

3.  Our church is in an old building, and the furnaces have all been lit and the thermostats set for winter. So it's rather warm inside.

4.  My hair. Not good on the best days, but the combination of #1-3 means that my picture will resemble a portrait of Carrot Top without the red.

5.  Nick has a cold sore. I've been slathering him with Carmex for three days. I've threatened to break out the makeup if necessary.

6. I ordered new suits for the boys. Great deals on $400 wool suits that I got for $62 a piece.

7. They came in time.

8.  None of them fit.

9.  Nick has five white shirts. They are all dingy and ill-fitting.

10. I broke into Christmas presents I had set aside to get him a decent shirt for the pictures.

11. I realized two days ago that the boys all looked rather scruffy.

12. They're getting their hair cut today.

13. I'm sensing that today will be the day they get the Mad Stylist at Great Clips who will brandish the scissors with glee and they'll come back looking--you know.

14. I hate taking pictures. I always have.

15. The first photographer got here and she's very young and very pretty.

16. It will take forever for my boys to quit showing off and settle down to pictures.

I know I didn't end with some nice round number, but I don't usually have a list of 10 or 20 when I'm doing a list, so why start now?

I have decided that I will embrace this adventure with the following thoughts in mind:

1.  Presenting a perfect picture of us would be false and misleading.

2.  These people have known us for a year now. They ought to know that what you see is what you get.

3.  I've lowered my standards from "perfect" to "mediocre". I think we can hit that reasonably well.

4.  I've reminded myself that, once we're done, I never have to look at the picture if I don't want to.

5.  Lastly, I've realized that it's only natural to say "cheese" with all the hams we have in our family.


  1. Ah, yes. Church directory day. Wasn't the last one we did when dad was extremely sick and ended up in the hospital later that day?

    1. Yep. He had malaria and his picture has him gritting his teeth in some weird smile/grimace. We left there and took him straight to the hospital. Fun times. : )

  2. It's so nice to see you back on the blog! I have a scapbook my mom made of my first 20 years. In it she included a full page photo that was once upon a time a church directory family shot. I cannot imagine why, out of all the pictures there are, she chose to include an old church directory photo. None of us look good. Why is that? What's the deal with church photos? Our wedding photographer told us he doesn't like to do a lot of staged family photos at the church. He said as soon as you put people up there to take a picture everyone gets stiff and awkward and unnatural. Still, our family photo all these years later makes me smile : ) Welcome back! It's good to 'hear your voice'!

  3. I love the way your mind works. You almost always make me laugh.

  4. I think most people have at least one awful 'church directory photo' stuck away someplace...I know I do! Good luck, hope this one is a winner :)

  5. I remember my last Church Directory photo. .. taken in 1987... I was newly engaged and how wonderful it was that God provided us a free engagement picture! A two-fer!! Haha


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