Worse than the dentist ... part 2

It took me almost three weeks, but I finally went back to the eye doctor. If you wear contacts, then you know that usually they give you a trial pair to wear for a week before giving you your prescription. The doctor/torture specialist gave me a trial pair, but they hurt. I thought maybe my eyes needed to get used to the different kind of lenses, but I never could get comfortable in them. I ended up wearing them for almost three weeks. They were two week contacts.I kept putting off the follow up because I was afraid to go back. (See original blog in January) When I went back in, I had a different eye doctor. He hadn't seen a shampoo bottle in quite a while, but he was sure to be kinder, right? When he walked into the room he was reading my chart. He muttered something under his breath. After a moment he looks up and says, "I need you to answer me." I'm sorry, what was the question? Then he puts the bug mask in front of my face. That's the machine were they keep switching lenses and asking you which is clearer, A or B? I can't see the chart on the wall, but that's only because the bug mask is too high. So I arch my back and sit up straight. About halfway through the check up, he must have realized the unit was too high. Instead of adjusting it, he stomps on the pedal that moves the chair up and down. I rise with a jerk, and then suddenly I can see more easily out of the bug mask.
After that pleasant experience, he pulls out the shelf where you set your chin in the cup and rest your forehead against the bar while they shine a bright light in your eyes. I always wonder how many chins rested in that plastic piece before mine. Ewww! Anyway, this piece of equipment was much too low. So I hunkered down in my chair. (Why don't I just speak up?)
After all that, he pulls two small lenses with little handles out of a drawer and tells me to focus on the chart on the wall. Then he almost strikes a pose as he whips those lenses in front of my eyes to see if they help my vision. By now my eye is so irritated from the contacts I can hardly see anything, and they keep watering as well. Of course, that could be from my struggle to hold back the laughter at this guy's antics. I think he must be a frustrated magician or something. His final conclusion was that they could up the prescription slightly and see if that helped any. But they didn't have the next step up in contacts, of course, so they had to be ordered. I ended up going back two days later to pick up the new contacts. To my relief, these lenses work much better. I can actually see clearly, and they don't hurt at all. I'm so relieved! The ordeal is finally almost over. There's just that one more follow up visit ...