If you've ever read the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, then you understand where my title came from. Terry and I have been married for over twenty-two years. (Over half my life!) I know his likes and dislikes; I know even most times what his reaction will be to certain situations. I know his goals, his desires, his fears.
But even after all that, there are times when he is clearly speaking another language; a language for which there is no interpreter--at least not one that a female would understand.
Just this week we were discussing a certain situation and the three options we had to chose from: A, B, or C. I knew Terry was leaning toward C. It was the option he brought up even before C could be an option. (He tends to think outside the box.)
So the other day I asked him which he thought would or should happen.
Well, I think C is the worst thing that could happen."
"A is the best option. That's what I'd really like to see happen."
Okay, I was sure that just the week before he told me A was not possible, and he didn't care for A anyway, so he didn't care if it didn't happen.
"So if we don't want C, why are we pursuing it?"
"I didn't say we don't want C. C is most probably what is going to happen."
Sometimes, in the art of good conversation, I try to repeat what I thought the other person said, just to check that I'm understanding him correctly. I tried this with Terry. I could tell he was getting frustrated with me.
"That's not what I said. You're twisting my words into something else because you're not listening." This was said with a patronizing smile on his face.
I mirrored his smile with one of my own.
"I'm listening. You're not communicating very well."
The conversation died after that.
Several days later I commented that "So-and-so liked option C. They thought it was the best choice."
He spread his hands wide. "That's what I thought. I'm glad they agree with me."
I was still struggling to understand. "But you said--"
He groaned in frustration. "That's not what I said!"
I finally realized this was an issue where we would never see eye-to-eye. Or maybe we do agree, but we'll never know because we're not speaking the same language. At any rate, best or worst case scenario, I think we're going to end up with option C. He thinks so too. I think.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This is why guys like the Three Stooges and most women find it silly or extremely irritating. Since I like to write, maybe someday I'll write a book that translates martian into venutian. Provided I ever am able to decipher this language myself, that is.