Ode to Darva

 We've had a death in the family this week. Her slide downhill was long and lingering, but then her demise was so quick at the end that I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. And I'm in mourning.

This is Darva. Yes, I name my plants. But lest you think I'm some crazy plant lady, let me assure you that I do not consider my plants to be human. I'm not someone who is one with mother earth.

On the contrary, I have a very black thumb when it comes to growing things. (Fortunately, the thumb hasn't mattered yet when it comes to growing children.) I love the look of indoor plants, but I don't do very well at keeping them alive. I forget to water them. I don't trim them when needed. I have no idea what to do with them when they outgrow whatever pot they call home.

So a year or so ago, when Sam's Club had an incredible deal, I bought some indoor plants. Big indoor plants. Hardy indoor plants. That last was especially important. And then, because I made the investment in them, I felt the need to take their care seriously. So I named my plants. It's harder to forget to water a plant that has a name. Much to my delight, Darva and Reamie seemed to thrive under my less than expert care.

And then we got the kittens. Dex and Drizzle are very sweet kittens. Sweet, energetic kittens. And they especially loved Darva. Unfortunately, Darva does not play well with others. Dex and Drizzle took turns jumping at her and pulling down her branches, one by one. Nothing seemed to work in keeping the kitties off the poor plant. Darva lost her beautiful leaves, one at a time until she had nothing but one slim green stalk sticking up from the pot.

Still I had hope. Green means life, right? It was possible for Darva to come back. At least, it was possible until Saturday when I looked in the corner and saw that Darva was gone. Pot and all she had disappeared. I frantically questioned the boys until they admitted that they'd seen Darva in the garbage can.

I was heartbroken. I never even got to say goodbye. I was also not happy with my husband, who had pronounced Darva dead and gotten rid of her without even the dignity of a decent send off. Or at least a check of her pulse. I considered tossing something of his, so that he knows how it feels. But I don't think our marriage would survive if I threw out one of his deer mounts.

So now I'm debating what to put in the corner to replace Darva. Should I go with some corner piece of furniture (there are two windows in the corner, which is why Darva thrived so well.) Or should I try another plant and hope Dex and Drizzle will learn how to behave?

It might help your decision to know that they've now turned their attention to the fake plant I have in the living room. Poor Bob already has some broken branches. We turned them to the corner to hide them, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time.