Monday, September 13, 2010

Ode to Darva

 We've had a death in the family this week. Her slide downhill was long and lingering, but then her demise was so quick at the end that I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. And I'm in mourning.

This is Darva. Yes, I name my plants. But lest you think I'm some crazy plant lady, let me assure you that I do not consider my plants to be human. I'm not someone who is one with mother earth.

On the contrary, I have a very black thumb when it comes to growing things. (Fortunately, the thumb hasn't mattered yet when it comes to growing children.) I love the look of indoor plants, but I don't do very well at keeping them alive. I forget to water them. I don't trim them when needed. I have no idea what to do with them when they outgrow whatever pot they call home.

So a year or so ago, when Sam's Club had an incredible deal, I bought some indoor plants. Big indoor plants. Hardy indoor plants. That last was especially important. And then, because I made the investment in them, I felt the need to take their care seriously. So I named my plants. It's harder to forget to water a plant that has a name. Much to my delight, Darva and Reamie seemed to thrive under my less than expert care.

And then we got the kittens. Dex and Drizzle are very sweet kittens. Sweet, energetic kittens. And they especially loved Darva. Unfortunately, Darva does not play well with others. Dex and Drizzle took turns jumping at her and pulling down her branches, one by one. Nothing seemed to work in keeping the kitties off the poor plant. Darva lost her beautiful leaves, one at a time until she had nothing but one slim green stalk sticking up from the pot.

Still I had hope. Green means life, right? It was possible for Darva to come back. At least, it was possible until Saturday when I looked in the corner and saw that Darva was gone. Pot and all she had disappeared. I frantically questioned the boys until they admitted that they'd seen Darva in the garbage can.

I was heartbroken. I never even got to say goodbye. I was also not happy with my husband, who had pronounced Darva dead and gotten rid of her without even the dignity of a decent send off. Or at least a check of her pulse. I considered tossing something of his, so that he knows how it feels. But I don't think our marriage would survive if I threw out one of his deer mounts.

So now I'm debating what to put in the corner to replace Darva. Should I go with some corner piece of furniture (there are two windows in the corner, which is why Darva thrived so well.) Or should I try another plant and hope Dex and Drizzle will learn how to behave?

It might help your decision to know that they've now turned their attention to the fake plant I have in the living room. Poor Bob already has some broken branches. We turned them to the corner to hide them, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time.


  1. 100 (meaningless) points to you for naming your plant.
    Anotehr 100 points for coming up with Darva. :)

  2. My hubs says when I bring a plant into the house its like they've been sent to a hard labor prison camp. I let them get to the point of death and then I revive them. I turned over a new leaf (Ha) in this house and have kept 7, yes 7, plants alive and thriving.

    Perhaps what your corner needs is a scratching post? : )

    Thanks so much for your super sweet comment on my blog yesterday. It really meant a lot! I hope you get to visit today...I definitely need a funny question from you before the weekend. Enjoy your day!

  3. If it makes you feel better my husband got tired of moving my poor, tired looking house plants from place to place and state to state and GAVE THEM AWAY! We had company just before we moved and he gave them my plants declaring we couldn't move them again... And to insult to serious injury that friend posted on her facebook how she "nursed them back to health"... What did she mean, my plants were just fine... Then I saw her pictures... I didn't know they could look that good and in only three months time... Aghhhh...

  4. Oh, Jill. I understand, I do. I've got a thumb anything but green.

    I've been trying again, though, and so far have two new houseplants that are flourishing. *knock on wood*

    RIP, Darva. RIP.

  5. I do not do plants well at all!


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