Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Real Reality Series

One of my coworkers was sent this by her daughter-in-law. I have no idea where the daughter-in-law got it, so I can't give credit any further back than that. I think it's hysterical, but if it were real, I would definitely watch it!

THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids; maintain his career,
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.

A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins if, and only if,
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....

I'm going to bed.


FYI, I sent it to some female friends, but I didn't send it to any males. I just don't think they'd get it.

12 comments:

  1. Hilarious! I'm so glad you decided to share it!

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  2. HA! I sent it to my husband. He knows how crazy I am over Survivor and Jeff Probst.
    I'd like to think my man would at least make it to the jury in this Survivor!

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  3. That is too good. Would you mind if I posted this on my blog? This is too good not to get it around to as many women as possible.

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  4. Nevermind. I just twittered and FB'd your post. Hopefully a bunch will come here and read it. I'll send my blogger friends here too.

    Have a great day.

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  5. Thanks for the shout out, Cathy! Share it wherever you want.

    Sara, if your husband would make it that far, he must be a very amazing man!

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  6. If only.... I think we would all join together and pay their fare to send off a few men we know...a woman's fantasy come true!

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  7. Too funny! But in their defense, we didn't get all our kids at once! It's a little easier to do gradually. If you plopped me in someone else's house, I'd have a lot harder time than I do with my own!

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  8. Oh my word, that is awesome! I'm not sending it to any men either!

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  9. That is absolutely fantastic!! I'm going to have to borrow that I'm afraid. It's too good not to share!

    ReplyDelete

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