Building My Self Esteem

"How Do I look?"

Ever ask someone that? If you ask a female, she will generally tell you that you look good. She might even comment on the hair, the dress or the shoes. Females know that when you ask that question, you're looking for validation. You're also wanting to know if everything is put together right. Is your slip showing? Is your hair sticking up on one side? Females help you feel confident, and they correct obvious mistakes.

Males respond with brutal honesty. And since I live with seven males, I hear brutal honesty almost all the time. Once I was putting on lipstick while driving. Nicky was sitting next to me, watching carefully.

I smiled at him. "How do I look? Nice?" (Sometimes you have to give them a clue.)

"Sure." He said. "But did you notice you have a little bit of hair right here?" He touched his upper lip.

I send out verbal birthday clues to the males in my family. I see no sense in waiting until my birthday shows up and then being disappointed the whole day because no one remembers. So I recently made an announcement while driving with the four guys in the picture.

"Two weeks from today is very special guys. Know what it is?" After I finally got them to realize it was my birthday, "and how old am I going to be?"

I ask that second question to make sure they either get it right, or err on the side of youth.

Their answer? "Sixty."

That trip was on the way home from the grocery store. I got irritated when I realized I'd forgotten to buy a box of hair color. (Hmm! Maybe that's why they said I look sixty!)

Luke made an effort to be complimentary. "You don't need to color your hair, Mom."

I pointed to my temples where four weeks of gray showed. "You don't see this gray hair?"

"No," Luke answered after hesitating. "It just, you know, blends in with your...skin."

Great. So I look like I'm going bald?

The guys keep me humble. I'm just not sure how much more humility I can take.