The hair says it all

My hair has a mind of its own. It has natural curl, and while that sounds wonderful in a novel, it's a pain in real life. For years I tried to style my hair into some semblance of order. I always ended up with little ends sticking up, or a rebellious wave surging through an area where I wanted smoothness. My hair is thick and does not respond well to humidity. We moved to Florida this past summer, so if I'm not careful it sticks out in frizzy agony all over my head.
A couple of years ago I got sick of always having to settle for a style "close" to what I actually wanted. I asked my stylist for her opinion, and she told me to quit fighting the curl. She said I had so much of it, I might as well just work with it. She showed me how to use a diffuser and I was set. At least, I was as long as she did my hair. I liked her results, but the next morning I couldn't copy them. Lots of practice finally got me to the point where I could live with the results. Some days its looks really curly, and some days it just looks like I didn't bother to use a brush.
A couple of months ago I decided to go back to a more sedate style. The problem is, now that my hair had a taste of style freedom, it didn't want to go back. I straightened and struggled and cut, and it still wouldn't do anything other than stick out. My problems weren't helped by having to find a new stylist when we moved. The first person I went to scared me. I got a coupon for a new salon and so I thought I'd try it out. The one stylist there informed me that her main focus was in coloring. She could tell me just the right shade of red to use to highlight my dark brown hair. Except I didn't want color. I wanted a haircut. So after shampooing my hair, she sat me in a chair in front of a mirror. She then began examining my hair from all angles. She lifted up a piece here and there to study it. She dragged her fingers through it. She did everything short of putting her hands up with her thumbs out the way directors do when they're trying to visualize a scene. If it was for theatrics, it might have been impressive except that she took so long I finally got worried that she just didn't know how to cut hair. I have a basic layered cut, and it shouldn't be that hard to trim.
After she finally trimmed my hair, I asked if she could texturize it. My hair is so thick, that it really gets bushy unless they use those scissors with big chunks taken out of it, like sewing shears. She picked up the scissors, but instead of using them in different spots, she used them only on the very ends of my hair. The end result was bushy hair with tiny wispy ends that stuck up all over my head.
Since then I've found a better stylist, but I'm still learning to communicate exactly what I want. Recently I told her that my layers in back were getting too full and I would like them thinned out. She said okay, and started cutting at the nape of my neck. Now, I have short hair, but not that short. Is thinning the same thing as cutting it off? Fortunately, she stopped before she went too far. Now my end result is hair that is shorter than I wanted it, but I do have to say that the fullness is gone. Completely.
So now I'm letting it grow out a little and at the same time I'm running other descriptions through my head so I can express myself better when I go back. I just have to wait for some hair to grow in before I can get it cut again.