In Pursuit of Pain

I should post a warning that this may end up being a whiny post. Okay. Consider yourself warned.

For the past two weeks I have been in constant pain. Pain that ebbs and flows throughout the day, but is always with me. Pain that moves through various places in my body. Pain that keeps me awake at night and makes me move slowly when getting up out of a chair. What is the cause of this pain you ask? Well, even if you didn't ask, I'm going to tell you.

I'm in pain because I'm trying to get healthy. I'm trying to get fit. I'm exercising like an insane person. Actually, I've always thought that people that liked to exercise were slightly insane. I'm not sure I like it enough to be insane yet.

I'm walking a couple of times a week, and when my partner and I walk, we go about 4-1/2 miles. I bike several times a week with the boys. Last week we biked twice, once for eight miles and once for ten miles. I exercise once or twice a week on my glider, usually for about an hour at a time. I'm supposed to be working out with weights too, but somehow my body rebels at going that far.

What I find unusual is that everything I do makes me hurt in different places. And can you guess which one makes me hurt the most? Walking. That's right. Something I do every day anyway. At least to and from the car. But now that I'm walking for "fun" and exercise, it's killing me. The muscle running up the outside of leg is always hurting. My partner said that it was the IT band. She had a technical term for it, but I don't remember what it was. I'm in too much pain to concentrate. She said I need to be sure and stretch after every exercise session. I thought I was, but apparently not enough. A week ago the muscles in my lower back were so tight I was having trouble moving at all. And when people asked what was wrong, I couldn't tell them I'd lifted something the wrong way or pulled something. No I was just extremely out of shape and my body wasn't taking well to trying to fix it.

As if that weren't enough, biking makes a different set of muscles hurt. And that bike seat gets awfully uncomfortable after awhile. Biking makes my shoulder hurt too, but I think that has more to do with falling off the bike than riding it. And that was all Nicky's fault. For some reason Nicky had shoelaces that were long enough for a man's size fifteen work boot. And they were on his sneakers. The excess shoelace got caught in his bike chain. When he realized he was stuck, he pulled over to the side of the path. Right in front of me. I had already started slowing down when he said he had a problem, but I wasn't completely stopped. I put my foot down for balance, only I was already at the side of the path and there was no path left. I fell over in slow motion, never letting go of my bike. Somehow I guess I thought if I let go, that thing is going to pound the fire out of me. Instead my shoulder took the fall, followed by everything else. I got back up and brushed myself off, assuring the boys that I was okay. As we got back on our bikes, Nicky said, "Be careful, Mom. I don't want you to fall again. That was not a pretty sight." Thanks for the encouragement.

So now my shoulder hurts as well as my back an my legs. Last night in choir practice I quietly groaned every time the choir leader had us stand to sing. I thought exercise was supposed to make me feel young again. Instead I feel like I've aged forty years.

For those of you who care enough to worry that I might give up, never fear. I know I'll never get to the feeling good side unless I push through the pain. I'll continue to stretch. I'll continue to exercise. Eventually I'll discover the Nirvana that comes to those who exercise and live a fit life. You know. The insane ones.

And I'm going to change Nicky's shoelaces. Let's get real here. I've got enough pain. I don't need him adding anymore.