The Trouble with Boys

I've been studying the male species lately and I've learned a few important things. I thought I'd share them with you this week.
First up, boys are bottomless pits. They never stop eating. With five boys in our family, it's a wonder our refrigerator isn't in a permanent state of empty.
Saturday I washed a bowl of grapes and set them on the counter. There were 3-4 pounds of grapes in that bowl, but by that evening they were all gone. Packages of cookies never last more than a day. Cakes are gone in no time, and 5-quart tubs of ice cream just melt away.
Sweets aren't the only things that disappear in our house. We also suffer from a chronic lack of chips, popcorn, crackers, cheese, etc. The list is endless. I've had to start making announcements when I come home with groceries. "Pepperoni is for a meal one night this week. Don't touch it." "Leave the grated cheese alone!" "The tortillas are for Tuesday night!" Every week it seems I go to the pantry for something I know I just put in there, only to find that it's already been used up. Generally speaking, the empty packaging is still sitting in the pantry because the boys can't seem to realize that if they consume something, they need to toss the empty container. But then again, how else will I ever know what happened to it?
We had company for Sunday dinner, so Saturday night I was working on making dessert. I set two boxes of graham crackers out on the counter and then started pulling out the other ingredients I needed. When I turned back to the graham crackers, one of the boxes was open and about one-third of the crackers were missing. The boys strike again!
Of course, they come by it honestly. One Easter I had a little decorative birdhouse that I bought for my secret sister. I bought several packages of those little marshmallow peeps to go with it. The night before Easter I was putting everything together in a gift basket. Imagine my surprise to find the packages of peeps were all open. ALL of them! It's one of my husband's favorite candies.
Boys are just going to eat everything in sight. I have five boys, two of them teenagers. When the other tree reach adolescence, I'm afraid we'll have to take out loans just to keep food in the house. In the meantime, I'm checking into hiding our own stash so we get to eat at times. Top ingredient: chocolate!