May I Have Some Camera advice?

I usually don't have much in the way of requests for Mother's Day. I get taken out to dinner (I remind everyone a couple of days before hand that I am not cooking!), and I get some nice cards. One year Terry bought me a pearl necklace. It's a pretty good day, but I keep my expectations reined in--it's much nicer to get something you're not expecting than than it is to NOT get something you ARE expecting!
But this year I am asking for something. I've decided I want a digital camera. Not sure if we have the money, but it doesn't hurt to ask, does it? The problem is, I'm not very camera savvy. I don't have much savvy (re: talent) in the photography department, either. Up until this point, if I wanted to take pictures I used one of those disposal cameras. But I do have a few problems with that technology. (Or is that too dignified a term?) First off, and I know how shallow this makes me, it is completely and totally uncool to use a disposable. I look like a kid going to summer camp. Except those kids all have their own digital cameras now, too.
Second, since they are technologically inferior, I can't exactly download photos, can I? Or send them to Walmart over the internet. Or post more pictures on my blog.
So, since most of you readers who also do blogs have tons of pictures, I thought I'd turn to you for advice. But make sure it's basic information in layman's terms. For instance, what is a pixel? Is it better to have more or less?
Actually, I'm gathering that it's better to have more because the cameras with more pixels cost more. But still, why is pixel amount important?
I want a camera that makes pictures clear enough to enjoy, otherwise what's the point? And I like cool features, but remember I'm a camera novice. I don't need all the bells and whistles. Chances are, I wouldn't be able to figure out how to make them work anyway.
Also, what brand are you partial to and why? Give me a good reason.
Help me out before Sunday, will ya?