Thursday, May 20, 2010

Artful Arguing

Is your husband ever wrong?

Boy, what a loaded question that is! But as always, I have a reason for asking it.

When you're husband's wrong, what do you do? This question came up on a quiz that we did at our ladies' luncheon last Saturday.  It was a fun quiz with multiple choice answers. This particular question was worded this way:

You’ve had a disagreement with your husband, and he’s clearly in the wrong. How do get him to see your side of it?

A.         Cry
B.         badger (nag) him
C.          bombard him with logical reasons why he’s wrong
D.         give him the silent treatment until he sees things your way
E.          say “Whatever you say, dear” while glaring at him reproachfully

Obviously the quiz was not meant to be taken seriously. But how do you deal with a husband who's wrong?

Personally, I think it seems a little sneaky to manipulate with tears.

Nagging has never worked for me. Period.

I can give logical reasons, but they have to be at a time when he's willing to listen. Otherwise all my logic is wasted.

The silent treatment seems a little silly. After all, we're not in fifth grade anymore.

Sarcasm only works with a little humor thrown in. And even then it's not always a good thing. But sometimes it slips out of me in spite of myself. (I know you're shocked at that!)

Truthfully, there are times when I'm really working on my response to something where I feel he's in the wrong. I turn phrases in my head. I plan exactly what to say to get my point across. And most of the time, before I finished marshaling my arguments, he's already apologized. I'm very relieved, but at the same time some of my best arguments never see the light of day!

Now, what happens when he wants to convince me of something? Some husbands would stoop to doing something like this:

Because who can resist the sympathy factor?

As a side note, Indiana is doing better and the collar hopefully comes off in another week. Well, for real anyway. It's been coming off more than it's supposed to lately. Which leads me back to the question I asked in the first place of how you deal with someone who's wrong. As in, he won't relax and get through his convalescence properly. Instead he's routinely pushing the limits of what he's supposed to be doing. 

I mean, some husbands might do this. This question is hypothetical, after all. 

Some help, please?

By the way, I have no idea why my post suddenly started indenting some of its lines. I had the choice of trying to fix it or going to work. I chose to do the one that pays. Deal with it.


  1. Lol!! Actually, because my husband now takes counseling classes and is studying to become a counselor, our arguments are more of disagreements where we discuss who is right and who is wrong...Letter C, actually, haha!

  2. I know the type (who pushes the limits I mean)...that would totally be my hubs. And if yours is like mine and I try to 'encourage' him to follow doctors orders I'm pretty sure he hears the voice of a mother telling him what to do and he resists. I've learned that I have to say things at the right time, and the right time is rarely right in the moment of when whatever is happening is happening. Mine is like yours in that if he is wrong he generally apologizes before I can get my carefully worded words out.

    I think maybe yours will go to the dr and the dr will say hey, you're doing great or you haven't been listening to me and then you can think I told you so but not actually say it outloud : ) Seriously, sometimes they really don't hear you in the moment but upon reflection they recognize you love them and only say what you say because you worry and care for them. Sounds like you're on the home stretch...hang in there!

  3. If you have already made an appeal to him, then you have to let it go. If he's wrong, he's wrong. Wives cannot make their husbands do anything, and to continue to force an issue would not be submissive. He is accountable to God for his choices, and he will suffer consequences if a situation results in such. Unfortunately, wives may suffer some consequences along with him, not of our own choosing. It's okay to suffer for the sake of righteousness.

    1 Peter 2:19-23 "For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;"

  4. Interesting post, still I think there could have been another choice.... to chat about it before it gets to someone being right or wrong.

    At the same time I have to say there have been so many times when I've pointed something out to hubby, and his response is a 'yes dear' i.e he isn't listening...... then bingo, someone else mentions it, or he hears it on TV, and he tells me about it enthusiastically, and I have to say, yes, I've been telling you that for a
    Blessings - Jan

  5. :) Glad to hear he is feeling better.

  6. haha! Indents! Crazy business that is.

    I've learned to ask questions rather than telling him why he is wrong. I will try and ask 4 or 5 questions to understand where he is coming from.

    Try sitting on your husband to stop him from pushing limits. I do that to my man sometimes.

  7. Its a wonder they ever get past those teen age years...never asking directions, not taking it easy when told, and don't even get me started on the not being able to load a dishwasher!!

    Men!! Ok they are pretty cuddly now and then

  8. Mine is like yours in that if he is wrong he generally apologizes before I can get my carefully worded words out.
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